When you stand before that Pastor, Priest, Rabbi, Justice of the Peace, etc. and say those deadly two words “I do.” – staring into the eyes of that person that you love so much… What you can’t see until those pictures are developed are the red eyes. Ah! You thought that it was light bouncing around? Nope. Inside the person that makes your heart go thumpa thumpa dwells a demon.
I know, all you newlyweds are sayings “Yeah, yeah Jason… you don’t know what you’re talking about. My sweetie is the bestest!” in your cutest voice. Mark my words: Just wait!
No. I am not jaded to the concept of marriage or life-time partners. On the contrary, I am a die-hard romantic and with the right person, marriage or life-time partners are a wonderful, amazing and magical thing. However, we all have to live with each other, and as time goes on, you will find particular things that drive you flat-out insane about the other person. Perhaps it will be when you are driving down the road and your significant-other chimes in on how little distance you are leaving between you and the car in front of you. Or perhaps it will be while you are heading out to work and your significant-other says “Are you sure you’re wearing that to work?”.
Regardless of when it occurs, it will occur at some point and you will have that fleeting moment that you wish your eyes could shoot laser beams, if nothing else to sear their rear for a moment.
So, I have compiled a lovely list of the top 10 things not to say to your spouse. Does it come from experience? I’ll let you be the judge.
10. Are we going to drive around forever or can we just ask someone for directions?
9. Whatever . . . Fine – you just go ahead and do that.
8. Who’s more important, me or
7. Did you [fill in task that you don’t remember your spouse asking you to do]?
6. Watch your [speed/stopping distance/driving]!
5. Great, another gadget.
4. Don’t be such a baby.
3. Why did you marry me?
2. I’m going to give you a chance to rephrase that.
and Numero Uno:
1. Who made you the boss?
Here are few things that didn’t make the cut.
- Huh? What?
- You’re going to do what? Yeah, like that will ever work.
- Have you put on weight recently?
- For your age you look good.
- Where’d you come up with that idea?
What do you find as “fightin’ words”? Let us know below in the comment area.