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being positive
  • Jason Stadtlander

Why Laughter Lines are More Important Than Worry Lines
Why Laughter Lines are More Important Than Worry Lines 2560 1805 Jason Stadtlander

Last Thursday marks my forty-seventh trip around the sun. I’m not normally one to fuss too much over birthdays, though I’ll admit that I like to be a little spoiled on my birthday. Ten years back I decided that I would never work another birthday and so far I have been able to hold true to that. As I see it, you only have so many birthdays in this life and I would prefer to remember those birthdays as days that I relaxed and spent time for myself. It is the one day a year that I think is appropriate to be selfish.

That being said, I started mine off with a morning Yoga with instructor Kristen, someone I had never taken a class with before. Unbeknownst to me, my son had conspired with our regular instructor Jennifer about my birthday and halfway in, Kristen said “It’s time to do some birthday planks.” I couldn’t help but laugh, and it was exactly what I needed (the planks and the laughter). There is something to be said about the practice of yoga. Many people do not understand that it is much more than just poses that make you look like a contortionist. It is a mindset. It is about focusing on the present and embracing the energy of life in that present. I know, I know, I too thought that was all a bunch of bull before I started doing it. But it is amazing what a difference taking a moment in our lives to just breathe and focusing on that breath can make.

This year has shown us all the strengths and weaknesses of the human spirit. Much of our [created] world is a toxic environment for the human soul and spirit. Everywhere we turn there is negativity in the news, negativity in politics, negativity in finances, mass shootings, and atrocities too horrendous to look at.

I have never been one that was big on inspirational speaking, writing, or thinking. Nor have I listened to much in the way of motivational content. My father was always very big on being positive, listening to speakers like Zig Ziggler, and even to this day he responds to “How are you doing?” with “I’m great, but I’ll get better.” I always felt it was a bunch of fluffy nonsense and I really wanted to have no part of it. Yeah, I know – Mr. Negativity. Not really though, I wasn’t being negative, I just didn’t feel the need to be “falsely positive”, it felt fake and I didn’t like being fake. But the reality is, if I allow myself to only show how I truly feel (while being inundated with all the negativity of the world), it’s much easier to be down, despondent, or negative. So I am going to focus the next several posts on the positive in the world.

 

I have vowed this birthday, to focus on the positive. This isn’t about ignoring the negative and turning a blind eye to the horrible things around us. I’m not going to be fake about it, I’m not going to “put on a happy face” when I am having a horrible day. But I will choose to listen to the news less (unless they magically decide to start focusing on the positive in the world). I’m going to surround myself with those who love me and who I love in return. I’m going to see the brightness of the day rather than the shadows. I will see the good things my children are doing and focus less on things that they are not doing. I will reach out to my family and friends and talk to them and be there for them when they need me. I will try to be less judgmental and more open-minded. I will embrace the positive changes in the world… things that can affect not only myself but the world my children live in long after I’m gone.

Because the reality of all this is, we need to laugh. We need to love. And laughter lines are truly better than worry lines, not for the looks, but for the experiences that create them.

Being Positive in a Negative World
  • Jason Stadtlander

Positive Thinking in a Negative World
Positive Thinking in a Negative World 1024 768 Jason Stadtlander

All around us negative things are going on.

Here in the U.S. we are in the process of impeaching our leader and if that is not the current topic, then there is an array of topics that both liberals and conservatives will be happy to throw at you. Shootings are regularly occurring (again, mostly in the U.S.). In other parts of the world, Britain is plagued with Brexit and a few violent eruptions that have recently been occurring, and there are talks of Prince Andrew having ties to Jeffrey Epstein. Iran has an onslaught of protests over government-set fuel prices and we won’t even start on what’s going on in Hong Kong.

All over the world, the economy is on the edge of a precipice that we are uncertain of. This coupled with concerns over retirement and handling our aging parents creates one giant snowball of stress, heartache, and pain.

In a nutshell, the world levels of negativity and pressure are a constant barrage on our daily lives. As a society, we try not to pay too much attention to these problems but historically we have chosen not to pay enough attention to them.

So, the real question is how do we cope with today’s problems and violent confrontations while continuing to raise children, embrace our families and still attempt to mitigate the violence and negativity all around us?

In a single word – communication. Communication with your family, your kids, your family, your friends, and even your co-workers.

I am not proposing that you go and complain about all the problems in the world. There is a significant difference between complaining and discussing.

  • Complaining envolves you walking into a room and verbally vomiting a negative spew of problems at someone.
  • Discussing, on the other hand, would be going to someone you know and trust and letting them know you’re concerned about XYZ and asking how they cope with it. Seeking their advice.

When it comes to children, you might be surprised how much the world’s actions are weighing even on their minds. Most likely, they have a very different perspective than you do. They are hearing things from their friends or their teachers. So it helps to see their perspective and hopefully impart your own wisdom or concerns.

Turning Things Positive

I’ll admit, this is something I struggle with. It is so easy to let the world around you bring you down or squash you. Here are a few things I do to maintain a positive outlook:

  • Appreciate your health. Even if you aren’t the healthiest or even if you’re battling a terrible disease. At the moment, you’re on this side of the ground and you are able to fight. That is always a good thing.
  • Embrace those you love. It may sound silly. But the next time you’re at home, hug your child or your husband or your wife or your girlfriend or your boyfriend. There doesn’t have to be a reason. A hug can do HUGE things in a negative world. It connects us – human to human and touch is a critical thing.
  • Talk to those you care about and ignore those who bring you down. There are always the Debbie Downers out there, keep your conversations with them short. Look to those who you care about and reach out to them even if they don’t reach out to you. There will come a day that you will wish they were there to reach out to.
  • Help others. Research shows that helping others actually creates endorphins which is a brain chemical that will improve your mood.  We are selfish creatures by nature. The act of helping others not only makes their lives better, but it gives you a feeling of self-worth.
  • Resolve problems. Conflict resolution is critical. If you are angry at someone or irritated, approach the person and let them know you’ve been upset. But don’t forget to tell them the reason you are coming to them in the first place is that you don’t want to be upset anymore. Especially if they are someone that you care about.
  • Ask for help. Definitely the most important of all these. If all the negativity around you is feeling too overwhelming, go back to the “communicate” idea. Talk to someone that you care about. Let them know that you’re having a hard time with it.

The world is an amazing place, has a lot of positive elements and will continue to be, long after we are not around to be plagued by its problems. It is how we cope with the world around us and how we take it in that ultimately determines what kind of impact we can make.

Copyright © Jason Stadtlander - All Rights Reserved

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