The following is a conversation that occurred between a long-time friend (who’s blonde) and myself while getting coffee at a Starbucks few months back:
Clerk: “What can I get you?”
Me: “I’ll have a Grande Skinny Mocha with whipped cream.”
Clerk: “If you get a Skinny Mocha with whipped cream, then it’s a non-fat mocha with whipped cream.”
Me: “Right, that’s what I said; a skinny mocha with whipped cream.”
Clerk: “No, a skinny has no whipped cream.”
Me: “Yes, exactly.”
The clerk looks at my friend. “What would you like?”
Her: “I’ll have a Skinny Mocha with soy milk, no actually make that skim milk.”
Clerk: “Skinny’s always have skim milk. If you get soy, then it will be a soy mocha.”
Her: “Yep, a Skinny with soy, but I changed it to skim.”
Clerk (shaking his head): “So you want a Skinny Mocha?”
Her: “Yes, but change the soy to skim.”
(his eyes getting wide with frustration and both of us with a blank look on our face.)
Clerk: “So, two Skinny Mochas and one with whipped cream.”
Me: “Yes, but mine with whipped cream and skim milk.”
Her: “…and mine, don’t do soy milk, do skim instead.”
Clerk: “Uh huh. Okay.”
(we stand waiting for our drinks.)
Me: “Did you read my book yet?”
Her: “Yes, do you think children will like it?”
Me: “No, it’s a thriller.”
Her: “Kids like thrillers.”
Me: “No, predators like kids.”
Her: “Yes, but predators get a thrill out of kids.”
Me (sighing with a sad face): “Yes, that’s what worries me. That’s why I wrote the children’s book.”
Clerk: “Here you go, two blonde roasts with whipped cream.”
Me and Her (cheerfully): “Thank you! Have a great day!”