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Why Laughter Lines are More Important Than Worry Lines

Why Laughter Lines are More Important Than Worry Lines 2560 1805 Jason Stadtlander

Last Thursday marks my forty-seventh trip around the sun. I’m not normally one to fuss too much over birthdays, though I’ll admit that I like to be a little spoiled on my birthday. Ten years back I decided that I would never work another birthday and so far I have been able to hold true to that. As I see it, you only have so many birthdays in this life and I would prefer to remember those birthdays as days that I relaxed and spent time for myself. It is the one day a year that I think is appropriate to be selfish.

That being said, I started mine off with a morning Yoga with instructor Kristen, someone I had never taken a class with before. Unbeknownst to me, my son had conspired with our regular instructor Jennifer about my birthday and halfway in, Kristen said “It’s time to do some birthday planks.” I couldn’t help but laugh, and it was exactly what I needed (the planks and the laughter). There is something to be said about the practice of yoga. Many people do not understand that it is much more than just poses that make you look like a contortionist. It is a mindset. It is about focusing on the present and embracing the energy of life in that present. I know, I know, I too thought that was all a bunch of bull before I started doing it. But it is amazing what a difference taking a moment in our lives to just breathe and focusing on that breath can make.

This year has shown us all the strengths and weaknesses of the human spirit. Much of our [created] world is a toxic environment for the human soul and spirit. Everywhere we turn there is negativity in the news, negativity in politics, negativity in finances, mass shootings, and atrocities too horrendous to look at.

I have never been one that was big on inspirational speaking, writing, or thinking. Nor have I listened to much in the way of motivational content. My father was always very big on being positive, listening to speakers like Zig Ziggler, and even to this day he responds to “How are you doing?” with “I’m great, but I’ll get better.” I always felt it was a bunch of fluffy nonsense and I really wanted to have no part of it. Yeah, I know – Mr. Negativity. Not really though, I wasn’t being negative, I just didn’t feel the need to be “falsely positive”, it felt fake and I didn’t like being fake. But the reality is, if I allow myself to only show how I truly feel (while being inundated with all the negativity of the world), it’s much easier to be down, despondent, or negative. So I am going to focus the next several posts on the positive in the world.

 

I have vowed this birthday, to focus on the positive. This isn’t about ignoring the negative and turning a blind eye to the horrible things around us. I’m not going to be fake about it, I’m not going to “put on a happy face” when I am having a horrible day. But I will choose to listen to the news less (unless they magically decide to start focusing on the positive in the world). I’m going to surround myself with those who love me and who I love in return. I’m going to see the brightness of the day rather than the shadows. I will see the good things my children are doing and focus less on things that they are not doing. I will reach out to my family and friends and talk to them and be there for them when they need me. I will try to be less judgmental and more open-minded. I will embrace the positive changes in the world… things that can affect not only myself but the world my children live in long after I’m gone.

Because the reality of all this is, we need to laugh. We need to love. And laughter lines are truly better than worry lines, not for the looks, but for the experiences that create them.

jack-elaine-the-power-of-laughter

Jack & Elaine – The Power of Laughter

Jack & Elaine – The Power of Laughter 1600 1200 Jason Stadtlander

The two children sat in their little chairs twenty feet off the ground inside the treehouse Jack’s father had built. Torrents of rain beat down on the shingled roof above and the air inside the treehouse was damp from the deluge outside. The two sat quietly, looking out the side window facing Jack’s home. The window had cross-members but no glass allowing the spring breeze to blow in. The small space was filled with the pleasant smell of fresh cut grass, wooden planks and cool crisp rain.

They didn’t need to speak. There was a comfort in the silence surrounding them, it was something Jack enjoyed—a friend who enjoyed solitude as much as he.

Jack looked over at Elaine. Her arms were propped on the sill of the window, her chin resting on top. “Want to play a game?” he asked.

Elaine turned to him and smiled. “Sure. What do you want to play?”

Jack stood up and walked over to the small bookcase next to the wall and pulled out a deck of Fish cards. “Go Fish?”

“Okay,” she said happily.

Jack sat down at the small table as Elaine pulled their little chairs over to the table. He dealt out five cards each and the two sat facing each other, eager to make matches. Elaine asked Jack for a shark. He had none. So, she pulled a card from the pile, then looked over at Jack.

“Jack, why were those boys teasing you on the bus the other day?”

Jack shrugged. “Do you have any starfish?”

“No,” she replied, watching Jack pull a card from the pile. “Why do you let them pick on you? You’re stronger than that.”

He looked at her, her fire-red hair made her blue eyes seem brighter than they might have been had her hair been brown or blond. “Why do you care?”

Elaine shrugged, “Just do. I don’t like bullies. What do you like to do at school?”

“I don’t really like school very much. I usually just play on the playground or read a book. I like to read.”

Elaine’s face lit up. “Me too! What do you like to read?”

Jack looked past Elaine, contemplating his favorite books. “I like Amelia Bedelia—she’s funny. Also the Gruffalo. My daddy does really good voices for the Gruffalo.”

Elaine laughed. “I like her too! Amelia Bedelia is so silly!” Her laugh was so light- hearted it made Jack laugh too. Elaine added, “Did you read the one where she was asked to put out the lights . . . ” She began giggling, “and Amelia took all the light bulbs out and hung them on the clothesline?”

Suddenly, the tiny redhead was laughing so hard she was crying. Her laugh was infectious. Jack, in turn, began laughing along with her.

“Put them on a clothesline!” he repeated, laughing even harder. He began laughing so hard he started to cry and fell out of the hair which only made Elaine and Jack laugh harder. She jumped down on the floor next to him laughing.

The two six-year-olds were now in a complete fit of giggles on the floor inside the tree-house, the Fish cards strewn all around them.

A few minutes later, they sat up, still laughing, wiping tears from their eyes. Jack felt as he had never felt before—carefree and alive—living life as all children should, was something he wasn’t sure he had ever done before. How the friendship of a young girl named Elaine, could touch him so deeply was something he couldn’t quite grasp, but he was happy to have her as a friend.

And so the two sat, playing Go Fish, talking and giggling over other stories they had read.


Checkout Jack and Elaine’s other adventures


Farewell Robin Williams

Farewell Robin Williams 150 150 Jason Stadtlander

I wasn’t going to write a tribute, an article or an essay about Robin Williams. I never knew the man and I am no one of importance or notoriety. I am not an obsessed fan who showed up to see Robin shooting films and I did not hang on his every word.

Robin WilliamsI am simply one of millions of other people that were touched by Robin, which perhaps gives me as much a right to say something about him as much as anyone else.

Two weeks ago, I was walking casually through my father’s house on the tree farm where I grew up, passing through the living room on my way to the kitchen to grab a pretzel when Jody, a friend of my father and step-mother, casually called out “Robin Williams died today”. My two boys were siting on the leather couch in the living room petting my father’s golden retriever; Chester. I stopped dead in my tracks and looked at the television, transfixed by the news with the words “Robin Williams apparent suicide” emblazoned on the screen.

My youngest son looked at me and being the more empathic could tell instantly that I was affected by something. “Daddy? Who’s Robin Williams?”, having never seen Williams on film. I looked down at his innocent face gazing up at me and I said, “Just someone that I looked up to.” and I left the room.  I went out on the deck in the warm sunshine and sat down, saying nothing. The bright sunshine suddenly felt cold, devoid of it’s usual warmth.

Robin is one of those people in entertainment that is an anchor, someone that you always know is there and appears from time to time to warm your heart and make you laugh. His ability to instantly alter his personae and utterly change before your eyes (and I’m sure the eyes of everyone on set) gave him the ability to reach through the camera (or speaker in animated films) and touch you in ways that most people require physical hands and arms to. The ability to reach into your heart and massage it, whether it be through laughter or through a poignant performance such as that in Awakenings or What Dreams May Come is what set him apart beyond all others.

The fact that this beautiful man, father and husband died under the circumstances of depression or suicide is what hit me hardest, having struggled with it myself in the past. I instantly thought of What Dreams May Come and pictured Robin playing Chris Nielsen, a man that died in an accident and in turn found that his wife was in Hell because she had killed herself. Robin’s character Chris, literally fought through Hell and accepted her nightmare as his own, in turn, bringing back her memories just in time for him to be taken into her Hell. She, now remembering who he is, wanted to bring him back to heaven, thus saving herself and him from Hell.

I immediately thought of Robin there, now in her place. I’m not saying that people go to Hell when they commit suicide, I’m saying that under the interpretation of the movie, Chris did and I couldn’t help but instantly picture Robin there.

I first saw Robin Williams as many of us did, playing Mork and Mindy (Nanoo Nanoo). Gary Marshall who cast Robin once said that “Williams was the only alien who auditioned for the role”. Robin later went on to touch the lives of so many people in films like Mrs. Doubtfire, Awakenings, Dead Poets Society, Good Morning Vietnam and so many others. These roles he played, these parts he thrust himself into, they didn’t just touch those of us who had the pleasure of watch him as an entertainer, they touched people who worked with him. People like Gary Marshall, Maura WilsonLisa Jakup and David Letterman. He had three beautiful children, Zelda, Zachary and Cody and he was married not long ago to Susan Schneider.

I have no doubt that he will be missed by those closest to him as well as those of us that weren’t close to him. If Robin is in a dark place such as that portrayed in What Dreams May Come, I have no doubt that all of us will help him out of it, lift him and carry him to where he belongs.

But why, you ask… “Why did you decide to write an article about Mr. Robin Williams today?” For one reason, the emphasis on how short and precious the human life is. Robin made an impact like a meteor, striking down from the heavens and left a lasting impression that will forever remain with all of us. People will tell stories, remember him, perhaps even make up stories about him, but what will remain true is that this life, this soul, will be remembered for what it did for humanity. For making us cry, for making us love and most importantly… that which what he would want to be remembered for most, for making us laugh.

I do wish I had the honor of meeting you, but you have touched my heart regardless. Love you Robin. Rest in peace.

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