loneliness

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Jack & Elaine – A Silent Call for Friendship

Jack & Elaine – A Silent Call for Friendship 1200 794 Jason Stadtlander

ABOUT THE SERIES: The next several posts will be part of a series I wrote a while back. It’s about two children named Jack and Elaine and some of the trials and tribulations they go through.


A Silent Call for Friendship

There was a cacophony of noise filling the air as children talked and laughed on the bus ride back from the science museum. Ten seats back on the driver’s side, a lone young boy named Jack sat staring out the window. He saw cars drive by, people walking and clouds floating listlessly through the sky. Trees lined the road and birds sat upon the wires as they drooped above the streets. A warm breeze blew in the window, tossing the hair of the six-year-old sitting on the green vinyl bus seat. The bus hit a bump and kids bounced and laughed, but the boy did not so much as smile. He just continued looking out the window.

The boy’s mind wasn’t in the bus at all. He was flying free outside alongside the bus, looking in at himself. That sad, solemn face peering back. He looked down to break the gaze of his mind’s eye, at which point the bullying words from within the bus were audible again. “Hey stupid! Hey ree-tard. Who dressed you? Huh?” a child said from across the aisle. There was a rise laughter from children nearby.

“Stupid. Can’t even hear me, can you dummy?”  The voice said, followed by an audience of laughter.

Tears welled up in the boy’s eyes and a lone tear went down his soft cheek as he stared out the window. Jack always tried so hard not to listen to the other boys. Why do they always choose me to pick on? He asked himself. The truth was, he knew why. He was quiet, smaller than the other boys and preferred to read over playing.

“Lackey Jacky the stupid dummy.” The boy said again and staid “Lacky… Jacky.” the other boys started chanting “Lackey Jacky”.

Jack spent so much time in his own world, his own place where he could find solitude. He sat staring out the windows, playing alone in the playground or simply drawing pictures that brought him peace. Trapped here on the bus was like living through his own private hell and no one ever seemed to notice or care. There was a part of him inside that was screaming for them to stop but he had been put down and made fun of for so long that he couldn’t defend himself. Not anymore.

He began to cry softly sitting there alone in his bus seat, as the boy led on the other boys in the chant of “Lackey Jacky the stupid dummy.” Then the boy from across the aisle said in a pouting face, “You crying baby Jacky? Boo hoo. It’s so sad, that he’s so stupid. Cry baby Jack, where’s your Mommy? Hmm?”  the boy called.

Jack glanced over at them and then turned and looked out the window, feeling complete and utter shame for not being able to defend himself and yet there was also an anger, deep within him that he couldn’t quite grasp. Just as Jack was contemplating why he couldn’t defend himself and why people always chose him to pick on, there was a loud smack. The sound of skin on skin caused Jack to turn quickly and look at the boy that had been tormenting him from across the aisle. The left side of his face was beat red and tears were welling up in his own eyes. Standing in the aisle was a girl that Jack had seen at the playground. She was tall for a six-year-old, had red hair and freckles and was smiling right at him. She turned and looked at the boy that was bullying him.

“You gonna cry?” she mocked towards the boy, then she sat down beside Jack, his heart leaped. He had never had someone stick up for him before and felt an alien emotion creeping in. Respect? Elation?

“Hi, I’m Elaine.” She said, holding out her hand. He shook it and smiled through eyes that were drying. “I’m new to the school and it looks you need a friend. Just so happens, I need one too.” She said smiling.

“I’ll be your friend. Thank you.” He said smiling.


Checkout Jack and Elaine’s other adventures


Loneliness is…

Loneliness is… 609 419 Jason Stadtlander

Loneliness is something that many of us cope with on a daily basis. Sometimes we can be more lonely in a crowded room that we are standing next to a single person.

Webster’s Dictionary defines loneliness as:

1a : being without company : lone
b : cut off from others : solitary

not frequented by human beings : desolate

sad from being alone : lonesome

producing a feeling of bleakness or desolation

lone·li·ness \ˈlōn-lē-nəs\noun

However, rarely does a definition convey what loneliness or any other emotion really is.

The reality is.. loneliness is a chasm deeper than the eye can see.
Loneliness can take you from the highest perch and cast you into the deepest hell.
Loneliness is a cold metal table in a dark room.
Loneliness is a yearning for human touch, even a hug.
Loneliness is an empty bench where you used to sit next to your mother and talk.
Loneliness is a need to tell your deceased loved one how much you miss them.
Loneliness is a fresh snowfall without children to play in it.
Loneliness is a photograph in your hand that you can’t let go of.
Loneliness is feeling cold on a warm summer day as the waves crash on the beach.
Loneliness is rain, so cold it seeps through to your bones.
Loneliness is… a singular soul among billions.

The Power of Friendship

The Power of Friendship 150 150 Jason Stadtlander

This week I’m going to create a series called “The Power of Humanity“. I will choose a few topics to focus on and expand upon them. The first of which, is friendship.

I have been struggling with the concept of friendship the past few months. Trying to understand the boundaries, the necessity and the impact that friends can have on our lives. I would be lying if I said that friendship is no longer an enigma to me, but I also feel as though I have a bit more of an understanding.

I have good friends, bad friends and everything in between. What I have found is, that friendship itself is both selfless and selfish. Before you go off stating that I am just talking about a bunch of canceling out jibberish, here me out.

One of my best friends recently told me when I was discussing the concept of friendship that: “You meet people for a reason, a season or a lifetime.”

The Power of FriendshipThis sounded trite to me at first, but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense.

Friendship is a give and take. We need our friends at times and our friends need us at other times. Sometimes the “take” is much more than the “give”, which depending on the giver, they can either handle being a support structure, or they cannot. I will admit that given my life the last two years, I’ve done much more taking than giving (and to my dearest friends I apologize profusely). However, I think they know that I will be happy to reciprocate that in turn.

Best friends, Close friends and Acquaintances

I can divide my friends into three categories and then I divide acquaintances into three subcategories:

1. Best friends
2. Close friends
3. Acquaintances
a. Those that I need to associate with for networking reasons
b. Those that I don’t like, but need to keep an eye on (they say keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer)
c. Those that I care about, but don’t know well

Aside from the obvious (family), there are nine people in this world that I would lay down my life for. Two of which I almost never speak with anymore for one reason or another, but I still hold them very strong as a friend and though they might not know it, I’d do anything for them.

There are is a large group of people that I would help out if they were in need and reached out to me. These are people that I consider close friends but perhaps not my best friends. Then there are acquaintances that I am associated with, respect and consider them good people. However, these people have either not had enough contact with me or have not attempted to communicate with me enough to gain the respect that a close friend deserves.

Why have friends?

A simple, but extremely complicated question.
1. They understand how you think. True friends, know how you tick psychologically. They can temper you and can help you make a decision that your own perspective prevents you from seeing.
2. Friends lift you up. In a time of need, friends know what makes you happy, they know how to help change your mood. (Consequently, if friends become enemies, they also know your weaknesses.)
3. Life long friends shape your life. Friends that you have had for most of your life, shape your interests, your social interactions and teach you about important life skills.
4. Friends can help you define your priorities. The old saying “birds of a feather flock together” is true. You will tend to attract to people similar to you. Your friends can help you protect yourself because they also fall into the same traps you do.
5. They prevent loneliness. Loneliness can be painful, we are social creatures.
6. They support you through thick and thin. As time goes on, we are always pruning our friendship tree here and there. It’s the branches that are there through all the pruning that are your strongest friends. They will be there for you no matter what you do or what happens.

The reality is, we need friendship. Even those that claim they don’t need it – yep… they need it. They are just too stubborn to admit it.

Friends play a key role in our ability to be individuals, a community and a society as a whole. If you have friends, cultivate the ones that cultivate you and remember, they say to ‘Do unto others as you’d have done to yourself’. That does not mean you should be doing harm to those that have done it to you… your job is not to pay people back for the wrong doings they do. That is up to God. But if you have a friend who is there for you, through thick and thin, be there for them through their hardest times and they will carry you through their (and your) happy times as well.

What do your friends mean to you?

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