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Being Positive in a Negative World

Positive Thinking in a Negative World

Positive Thinking in a Negative World 1024 768 Jason Stadtlander

All around us negative things are going on.

Here in the U.S. we are in the process of impeaching our leader and if that is not the current topic, then there is an array of topics that both liberals and conservatives will be happy to throw at you. Shootings are regularly occurring (again, mostly in the U.S.). In other parts of the world, Britain is plagued with Brexit and a few violent eruptions that have recently been occurring, and there are talks of Prince Andrew having ties to Jeffrey Epstein. Iran has an onslaught of protests over government-set fuel prices and we won’t even start on what’s going on in Hong Kong.

All over the world, the economy is on the edge of a precipice that we are uncertain of. This coupled with concerns over retirement and handling our aging parents creates one giant snowball of stress, heartache, and pain.

In a nutshell, the world levels of negativity and pressure are a constant barrage on our daily lives. As a society, we try not to pay too much attention to these problems but historically we have chosen not to pay enough attention to them.

So, the real question is how do we cope with today’s problems and violent confrontations while continuing to raise children, embrace our families and still attempt to mitigate the violence and negativity all around us?

In a single word – communication. Communication with your family, your kids, your family, your friends, and even your co-workers.

I am not proposing that you go and complain about all the problems in the world. There is a significant difference between complaining and discussing.

  • Complaining envolves you walking into a room and verbally vomiting a negative spew of problems at someone.
  • Discussing, on the other hand, would be going to someone you know and trust and letting them know you’re concerned about XYZ and asking how they cope with it. Seeking their advice.

When it comes to children, you might be surprised how much the world’s actions are weighing even on their minds. Most likely, they have a very different perspective than you do. They are hearing things from their friends or their teachers. So it helps to see their perspective and hopefully impart your own wisdom or concerns.

Turning Things Positive

I’ll admit, this is something I struggle with. It is so easy to let the world around you bring you down or squash you. Here are a few things I do to maintain a positive outlook:

  • Appreciate your health. Even if you aren’t the healthiest or even if you’re battling a terrible disease. At the moment, you’re on this side of the ground and you are able to fight. That is always a good thing.
  • Embrace those you love. It may sound silly. But the next time you’re at home, hug your child or your husband or your wife or your girlfriend or your boyfriend. There doesn’t have to be a reason. A hug can do HUGE things in a negative world. It connects us – human to human and touch is a critical thing.
  • Talk to those you care about and ignore those who bring you down. There are always the Debbie Downers out there, keep your conversations with them short. Look to those who you care about and reach out to them even if they don’t reach out to you. There will come a day that you will wish they were there to reach out to.
  • Help others. Research shows that helping others actually creates endorphins which is a brain chemical that will improve your mood.  We are selfish creatures by nature. The act of helping others not only makes their lives better, but it gives you a feeling of self-worth.
  • Resolve problems. Conflict resolution is critical. If you are angry at someone or irritated, approach the person and let them know you’ve been upset. But don’t forget to tell them the reason you are coming to them in the first place is that you don’t want to be upset anymore. Especially if they are someone that you care about.
  • Ask for help. Definitely the most important of all these. If all the negativity around you is feeling too overwhelming, go back to the “communicate” idea. Talk to someone that you care about. Let them know that you’re having a hard time with it.

The world is an amazing place, has a lot of positive elements and will continue to be, long after we are not around to be plagued by its problems. It is how we cope with the world around us and how we take it in that ultimately determines what kind of impact we can make.

Tiny Treasures, Red Leaves and Lucky Pennies

Tiny Treasures, Red Leaves and Lucky Pennies 2560 1440 Jason Stadtlander

Arriving at my children’s school, I get out of my car and my children follow suit, grab their backpacks and we walk toward the door. Along the way my youngest sees a few autumn leaves on the ground, despite the fact that it’s only one day after labor day.

He reaches down and finds the two most red, beautiful leaves and hands one to me. This is a very common practice with him. I smile at him and he trots off toward the door, holding my cell phone that he is talking to his grandfather 800 miles away on. Another common practice, our morning call to my father and something that brings a smile to their face and gets my father’s day off to a wonderful start.

We go into the school and I check them in for early drop-off, give them each a hug and as I’m leaving, my son walks over and hands me his red leaf.

“Why did you give that to me? You already gave me the other red leaf.” I say

To which he replies, “Two red leaves are better than one.” and he runs over to the Lego bin.

I suppose one can’t argue with that logic. So, I take my extra leaf and go to the car, sit down and place the two red leaves next to the four other leaves he’s given me over the past few weeks and the three lucky pennies he has given me. I take a moment to examine them. All six leaves and three pennies, one of which is a hay penny. My other son doesn’t tend to find ‘trash to treasure gifts’, he usually colors me creative pictures or makes me a sculpture, but these bits from either boy are more valuable than all the money in the world. Little treasures for a child, big treasures for a parent (at least this parent).

As an adult we spend day in and day out, seeking the dollar, chasing the sun and trying find that perfect peace, that perfect moment. As a parent, I find those perfect peaceful times and perfect moments are all around me, mind you not as often as I’d like, but they are there. Even as I sit here at my desk writing this article, I see 8 photographs of my children and at least 7 pieces of artwork, sculptures, sock snowmen, rock men and pine cone people all around me. Hidden where no one can see, I keep my old leaves from years past and my lucky pennies. My “tiny treasures”.

Strangely, these items mean something to me and I’m sure my father and mother kept the same sort of things and their parents before them. I will admit to having held on to a tiny treasure or two, beyond their, um… expiration date. A berry that rotted, a walnut that may have had something in it that it shouldn’t have. It doesn’t change the fact however, that they were my tiny treasures.

What happens when these people who have these objects are no longer around? The objects get put back into world circulation, are thrown away into a landfill or are sold for some derived value.

What is interesting though, is that all of us are a part of these treasures, we are all connected to them. That penny in your pocket, very well may have been the lucky penny that a child gave to their mother. The same penny that ended up sitting on her dresser for years for no other reason than because her daughter gave it to her.

It is these tiny treasures, these small, seemingly insignificant items that make our daily treks all worthwhile.

What are your tiny treasures?

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