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Your Body, Your Beauty, Your Booty – Treasure it.

Your Body, Your Beauty, Your Booty – Treasure it

Your Body, Your Beauty, Your Booty – Treasure it 610 469 Jason Stadtlander

Continuing my “Positive” posts, today I’d like to focus today on our bodies.

I can remember being in middle school and other kids making fun of me for the size of my feet. At around age ten, my feet were the same size as my age. Size ten at age ten, size eleven by age eleven… all the way up to age thirteen. It was my first experience with body shaming. There was no denying, I had big feet. I was awkward, nerdy and I was going through a very difficult time in my life with my parents divorcing and a few close family members dying.

For many years I felt like I had a skinny, wimpy look and even after I started to work out in my late twenties, I continued to feel dismayed when I looked in the mirror. And then, one day – I didn’t feel dismayed. Several things dawned on me all at once about fifteen years back:

  1. This is my body, the only one I have. Why have I spent so many years being ashamed of it? When I look in the mirror, why do I choose to look at the bad points, instead of the good?
  2. What right does anyone have to criticize the way my body is shaped

I cannot change the body I was born into, any more than anyone can change the body they were born into. Sure, we can have plastic surgery or dye our hair. But that is not really us. It is not what your DNA was programmed to create, it’s a mask, a façade that one chooses to pull over themselves because a particular element doesn’t look right to them.

It all boils down to society’s constant need to find balance, symmetry, and beauty. It is in our nature to look for beauty in others (and often do not see it) because we often cannot find beauty in ourselves.

What do I mean by balance and symmetry? We are programmed (from birth) to look for symmetry. If you look at a face and one side does not look even with the other side, it feels off, like something needs to be corrected. Symmetry and beauty are so interlinked, we don’t even realize we are looking for it when we look for something we consider beautiful.

Balance in society simply means balance as a whole. If someone feels bad about the way they look or their appearance, they will most likely try to balance themselves by looking for flaws in others. The same applies on a much larger scale. The beauty industry rarely shows you photos or videos (male or female) of people that are overweight or have acne or have a misbalanced body in one way or another. They work hard to make sure that only the perfectly balanced are portrayed, but real life is anything but perfectly balanced. We cannot relate to that perfect model in the Victoria’s Secret ad or the dark and mysterious man with large arms and chest in the GQ magazine, but we want to be like them. We want to have that physique, that look. When we look in the mirror, we look for what we would want to change in ourselves to look like that. The reality is that model that you see in the magazine or online looks way different without their makeup or touchups and in another twenty years, they will not look like that. I am not body shaming the model in the magazine, I can guarantee you that they get body shamed all the time (believe me, I know what that industry is like). What I am trying to point out is that they are as human as you and I. They are just wearing their own mask for you.

Do not get me wrong, I am not saying that we should not try to take the best care of our bodies we can. As I said earlier, it is the only body we get, so it is critical that we take care of it. What I am saying is, internal image and external appearance are almost always two different things.

From a beauty perspective, it does not matter if you are skinny or fat, old or young, unsymmetrical or misproportioned. You are you, and that is the single greatest thing you have to offer this world. From a physical perspective, I encourage you to work out, even if it is only going for a walk each day. Your body (regardless of its size or shape) is the greatest instrument you have and at the end of the day. It is the only thing you have to live with forever until the day you die so take care of it as best you can. But never equate your physical self with your beautiful self, because you already are beautiful, you just need to see it.

The Perfect Child

The Perfect Child 150 150 Jason Stadtlander

Everyday my children amaze me. They amaze me in the beauty that they create, the innocence that they hold and the pain that they cause. Children are… in the simplest form, the pure unaltered human. They are uninfluenced by society, laws, doctrine or anything else created by man. They are simply what we are when you strip away all of the crap we’ve created.

I know, that’s not a very educated way of looking at what we have created, but let’s face it, so much of it is crap, garbage, trash and feces. Yes, the laws we have, do protect us — generally. The “right” and “wrong” do give us a guidance as a society of what we should do to further our society. However, our laws and everything we have created is really just there to help guide those who lack common sense.

The Perfect ChildChildren operate on three basic principles. Love, fun and what they feel in their heart God wants. Don’t worry, I’m not going to get all religious on you or anything. But let’s face it, children are what we are when we are “new”, when you strip off all the stress, responsibility and rigid societal pressure. More than 90% of Americans believe there is a God. That being said, if there is anyone that is close to what God truly wants of us, a child is that.

Children seek “fun”. They seek pure truth, they question what they shouldn’t and question why they shouldn’t question it. They are the purest form of love and the truest critic you’ll ever get because they don’t know they are hurting someone’s feelings simply by being honest. We are taught not to hurt people’s feelings. How different would our world be if we were all, always honest? If we told each other exactly what we thought of each other?

People would know when they really do smell bad. Artists would know their work is beautiful or horrible. Investors would know that it’s a stupid idea to invest in something before they waste their money. People who go out grocery shopping in their PJs would be told the brutal truth that they really do look like idiots. When you go to buy a car, the salesman would tell you “I wouldn’t touch that car, it was smoking when I turned it on earlier.”

Conversely, we would tell people that we spend day after day working with, that we really do care about them. We would actually tell people that they are doing a good job or a bad job. We would hug a stranger when they hurt and we would help the person that sits by the road collecting money. And… We might even draw a picture for a friend, for no other reason than because we love them.

So what is the perfect child? The perfect child is you – in your purest form.

How different would your world be if you chose to be that child? Mine would be pretty awesome.

Twisted Thursday – Our created problems

Twisted Thursday – Our created problems 150 150 Jason Stadtlander

Daily Rat Race

You walk out to the car after running into an office building and there is a parking ticket on your windshield. You sigh and perhaps yell a profanity and jump in your car driving off. You have just been a victim of a problem we have all created.

Society – it’s something that most of us live in. I say most of us because there are a select few who have chosen to be hermits and completely detach themselves from all of humanity and although I doubt I could ever do it, I completely understand why they do it.

Yep… We created it

We have created nearly every single problem that we encounter on a daily basis. The traffic jam you are stuck in wasting precious minutes you could be spending doing something else? Yep, we created it. The fact that you’re in debt or better yet, you’re rich? Yep, we created it. We created the concept of money and the need to earn it along with the destruction that it Social Classcan do to people. Here is a small list of the ridiculous problems we’ve created:

  • Money / Concept of Trade
  • Poverty / Wealth
  • Crime / Laws
  • Social Class
  • Organizations
  • Corporations
  • War
  • Religion (Do not confuse religion with faith)
  • Pollution

There are four things that we did not create, and it’s important to know what these are as they are really the only four things that matter in life when all is said and done.

  • Love for one another
  • Family
  • Friends / Friendship
  • The need to survive and take care of those closest to you (feed, teach, etc.)

Finding your piece of peace

When it all boils down to the truth, there isn’t much that a single person can do to sculpt an already thriving society. You can bend the road here and there and try to steer things, but in reality, you were born into your part of society and must do the best with what you have been given. However, there are small things you can do along the way, things that I do every day to step outside of society’s boundaries. Here are some of the things I do:

  • Commuting through life: When stuck in traffic or stuck in the rat-race that is my daily life of commuting and dealing with a corporate job (that’s right, I actually don’t write full-time – though I so wish I did) – I call my father, mother, siblings, friends, anyone that means something to me. I take the time while I’m doing nothing but brainless traveling or commuting to build and hold on to what is most important in my life, my friends and family.
  • Finding your peice of peaceSmelling the roses: So many people talk about stopping to smell the roses, a ridiculous cliché, but in some respects apt. I have to run my children to their activities or to school or run errands. But I try often to pull the car to the side of the road and step out with them to play or walk in a park. Before I take them out of the car I kneel down to their level and grab their hand and ask them how they are. Before I drop them off at school every morning, I kiss them on the cheek and expect the same in return, then I whisper in their ear that I love them and I am very proud of [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][fill in an activity that they did or an accomplishment].
  • Open y’er ears sonny!: Though some of my friends (and especially colleagues) would argue that I do not listen very often, I do in fact listen to my children and my family. I listen to their dreams, their problems, the things that scare them and the things they are proud of and I acknowledge what they have told me. Yes, I only listen to things I think are important… and I’m sorry to say but the job that society has created for me to do to put dinner on my table – ain’t all that important.
  • Look for the peace of the moment: Sometimes it’s as simple as putting on my headphones and listening to some classical music. Other times it’s opening my sunroof and driving along the coast, just to unwind. Finding that peace in your life is probably one of the most critical things. That, and learning not to let things that really just don’t matter (like finances and stress) get under your skin. I know it’s easier said than done, but you make choices. Just make sure they are the right ones.

What do you do?

So tell me below, what do you do to unwind and relax? What do you do to step outside the bounds with which you were born into to appreciate the important things?[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

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