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To Catch a Thief – How CyberCrime is Stopped
To Catch a Thief – How CyberCrime is Stopped 150 150 Jason Stadtlander

It’s a question that I am asked at least once every few months, “How exactly do authorities catch cyber criminals?”

It’s also a question that isn’t so easy to answer. Cybercrime (like many crimes) are dynamic in their attack as well as execution to capturing them. However there are a few standards that are followed when authorities get a search warrant or are investigating a cybercrime.

Stopping CybercrimeSeizure of logs and details online / phone / etc.

One of the first tasks performed is to confiscate all data containing electrical equipment (Desktops, Laptops, Tablets, Phones, iPods, DS, etc.). Equipment seizure is not as simple as shutting everything down, pulling the wires and taking it with them however. They must first capture the memory of the device – that part of the computer that holds everything in a temporary space while it is operating. Once shut down electronics clear the memory and everything that is running is lost forever. Hard data (on the hard drive, USB drives, etc.) is another matter, but if a computer is shutdown that hard data will not be affected. So, the first thing a cyber-crime investigator will do is use a special program in conjunction with a special device to capture that memory for analysis and cataloging at a later date.

Pulling data from Internet service providers (ISP) and social websites

If an ISP is involved, which it almost always is, investigators will collect the unique number that all users are given; IP Address along with as many details as possible that the ISP may contain. Most ISPs are required by law to retain logs of who has what IP address and even some of their browsing activities for an established amount of time. Investigators will also contact social websites such as Twitter, Facebook and Instagram to request logs, photographs and details from the sites concerning the suspect’s activities. This is often a difficult and laborious process as social websites usually prefer to maintain a level of privacy for their users, regardless of their activities. The sites will often push the letter of the law to the edge to protect themselves.

Cataloging and entered into evidence

Computers are then taken back to a lab for analysis and cataloging just as other evidence might be. There are special programs such as Forensic Toolkit (FTK), that investigators use to catalog every byte of data so that it can be used in court showing; when the data was created, who created it, when it was last modified and where it came from. If a hard drive shows evidence of mass deletion or formatting, they may use a program to do a deep disk analysis which can recover deleted data after a perpetrator has formatted the drive.

All of this allows the district attorney to gather evidence against the suspect. Investigators have to be extremely careful as defense attorneys will take any hole in the evidence to sway a juror in their direction. Investigators also want to ensure that the person being suspected of the crime is actually guilty and that the evidence wasn’t just put there maliciously by someone else.

Presentation in court

Cyber investigators will then be called in to appear in court, testifying on the data that they collected, where it was collected and how it connected the dots to lead investigators to believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that the suspects are guilty.

  • Jason Stadtlander

Decompiling the Mind of a Child Predator
Decompiling the Mind of a Child Predator 150 150 Jason Stadtlander

While working at an expo on a cold and rainy spring day, I managed a tech-support booth, offering free computer assessments and clean-ups for visitors at the expo. Mid-morning, a gentleman arrived who was working in another booth and asked one of my colleagues to clean up his laptop. She worked on it for all of twenty minutes, uninstalling malware, removing adware—and then came to an abrupt halt, needing some advice. Since I was her supervisor, she immediately said, “Jason, you’d better look at this.”

I sat down at his laptop and saw what she was concerned about. There were thousands of photos of naked girls. I won’t get into specifics, but by law, as an IT professional, I am required to notify the authorities. This is something that I really didn’t want to deal with. In the end, I’m not sure what actually happened to the man as he was from out of state, and I heard nothing more about it. I gave my report to the police and left it at that. I wasn’t asked to collect anything off his computer as that would involve me as a third party in the case beyond simply discovering evidence.

A rare occurrence you might think? Sadly, these situations happen often.

Child PredatorWhy Molest Children?

According to a May 2013 statistical analysis by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC), there are 751,538 registered sex offenders. Granted, not all of those are going to be child sex offenders as these statistics also include rapes, lewdness, etc.

These statistics did make me wonder, however—why do so many engage in such sexually-deviant, damaging behavior? Are they miss-wired? Are they lonely and feel that it’s easier to overpower a child than to attain the natural affection of another adult? Or is it something deeper in the psychology that I just wasn’t seeing?

Ron Kokish, a therapist from California, published an article stating that basically most child predators and molesters do not molest children because they are “sick” but rather because they are “evil” and because they allow themselves to be given over completely to self-indulgence with no thought given to the child’s well-being, their parents, society—their own twisted needs and desires become paramount.

He further went on to explain that adult attraction to children is biological—that it is something we are programed with at the core of our genetic makeup—a need and a desire that cannot be denied. And so we as a society develop rigid moral codes and ethics to counteract these animalistic needs and desires.

Frankly, I disagree. I am a father, and not once in my life have I had a desire, animalistic or otherwise, to do anything sexual or harmful to a child. On the contrary, I have always had a strong drive to help children—to protect them so they can live a young life rich in happiness and freedom as all children should have. Sometimes it hurts that I can’t help every child I see who is struggling.

If what Kokish is saying is true, there are far too many adults in society concerned with their own base, selfish needs and desires. I realize that historically, people have always been more interested in their own lives and their own well-being. This is part of “survival of the fittest.”  The reality is, however, that as a global society we are clearly moving away from survival-of-the-fittest mentality (something I happen to disagree with, by the way—but that’s a discussion for another time), and if we are to maintain this direction, then we also need to be selfless and be interested in the betterment of mankind, beginning with our children.

Internet: The Final Frontier for Anonymity (or so we think)

Let’s face it, there have always been people who prey on children, even as far back as the ancient Egyptian and Babylonian civilizations—but is there an increase in these acts of sexual depravity against minors or are we simply more aware of them now that we live in the “Information Age?”

I believe the answer is yes to the increase and yes to greater awareness.

NCMEC’s statistic for Sex Offenders in the United States for 2012 was 747,408 and in that same article it shows that it was up from 606,816 from 2006. Clearly there is an increase and statistics document that. But there is also an increase in our awareness of offenses. The very fact you’re reading this article proves that there is more information being showcased out there in the hands of the general public.

It is important to note, however, that this increase definitely has to do with more readily available resources for offenders. There are chat rooms, bulletin boards and communities that not only have the capability for anonymity, but flaunt it. Keep in mind, however, anonymity is only as good as the person hosting the community. Working in Information Technology I can tell you first hand, I could collect everything from the computer you’re using, to your IP address at your home, to your shopping habits simply by allowing you to browse a site I designed. However, not all online communities are as vigilant about the collection of their users’ data because they themselves wouldn’t want their own data collected.

It is important to note here that when using the internet, people are far more disinhibited than during face-to-face communication. Pair this disinhibiting nature with the anonymity offered in virtual communication and this provides a recipe for disaster. Left unchecked, people who might not otherwise seek out their most depraved or negative behaviors feel less stifled and are tempted to explore avenues of depravity to a greater extent than they might otherwise have been able to in real life. Add to this mix the places that children enjoy connecting (Facebook, Twitter, etc.) and all of the right ingredients come together to pursue those base, animal desires.

Furthermore, most sex offenders are aware that, without a court order, websites such as Facebook and Twitter are prohibited from releasing information about their browsing habits or activities. In essence, this offers a shield of protection—protection to law-abiding citizens, for sure—but also to those who clearly intend to break the law and do harm innocent children.

  • Jason Stadtlander

Inconsolable Loss – A Mother’s Story on the Death of a Child
Inconsolable Loss – A Mother’s Story on the Death of a Child 150 150 Jason Stadtlander

This post was co-authored with Lisa-Marie Black.

Being a parent, it is perhaps one of my greatest fears that I should ever out-live my children. Children are a gift and a blessing, and some of us fight extraordinary battles just to bring them into the world. When a child is lost, it leaves a hole that can never be filled.

I have invited a blogger who has experienced such a loss, Lisa-Marie Black, to share how she is struggling to cope with and attempting to understand what happened recently with the loss of her teenage son Michael.

Both Lisa-Marie and I hope that her story below will help readers understand what goes through a parent’s mind and heart in such an unimaginable situation:

 

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Michael Black

Michael Black

There are many theories as to what led to the violent self-inflicted death of our 19-year-old son on April 17, 2013.  And honestly, I don’t know what to believe. Right now, all I know is a deeply-rooted pain; it hurts to breathe. All I know is that the last tormenting hours of my son’s life now torment me every minute I am awake and most of the hours that fill my days until I finally fall sleep late into the night. I think of a million things I would go back to if I could and do differently, and then I think of the ways I loved that boy—so far beyond any expression of words on a page.

Michael Ryan Black was born with blond hair and sparkling light blue eyes. He looked like an angel, but he was wild like all little boys should be. A few years after his parents divorced, I became step-mom to Tyler (8), Michael (6) and Caleb, just two years old. I brought to this new marriage great enthusiasm, naiveté—and two little angels of my own, Alexis (8) and Emily (6), from my first marriage that had ended five years prior with the sudden tragic death of my first husband.

About the time Gary Black and I got pregnant with Noah, we were also awarded full custody of Gary’s boys.  In the drawn-out custody process, we all lost something. Our family members were also wounded, some more deeply than others, but we had so much love…and so much hope. I wonder—was the trauma of divorce and abandonment what started Michael’s decline as an innocent little boy and ripped his soul apart during his final hours? That is part of it. The mental illness that many say is inherited—like sparkling blue eyes or bad eyesight—is this what overtook him in the end? It’s difficult to say.

Admittedly, our his-hers-and-ours blended family was far from perfect—but we were devoted—to God and to each other. My husband Gary was up with the kids every morning early, praying with them before school and talking to them about life over his coffee and their Honey Nut Cheerios.  I was home cleaning, cooking, listening and driving my little ones everywhere. We were present, we were attentive, and we were available to our kids…weren’t we?

We camped, we water skied, we told stories around the campfire. We laughed. We loved. We also got overwhelmed, tired, sick—sick and tired—and we got angry. We stayed up late fighting and trying to figure it all out, but always woke up determined to never give up, to keep fighting—for our marriage and for our family. More wounding? Probably. Could we have done better? Perhaps. I don’t know.

We watched as our older children started turning into young adults, striving to take on the world in their own terms. Teenage years are a normal but often tumultuous part of life. No parent can’t stop the process, and no matter how you try, you can’t control it either. Quite suddenly, everything invested in them—time, wisdom, heart—is all tested. The parts of life you try to shield them from are spinning at them like an out-of-control battering ram from every direction. They are bombarded with images, voices and noises constantly from the minute they wake up until their weary heads drop in their pillows at night.

It begins with music on their headphones, the television blaring in the background. Then their fingers begin texting meaningless messages to people they may never have had a live conversation with. Add to this that they live their lives out loud on the internet—the proverbial open book to the world—constantly posting their unstable emotions and thoughts of the moment. And somehow they seem to struggle with the concept that ONE unfortunate picture taken at a party could affect them in residual ways the rest of their lives.

This generation holds some of the most brilliant and creative minds the world has ever seen. However, these baby geniuses are also more often than not self-involved and narcissistic. With misguided good intentions, we parents have taught them inadvertently that the world revolves around them, and now our children believe us.

We stop having dinner as a family and stop talking to each other. Instead, we keep a calendar booked with constant busyness…and we are proud of this. Many of us even talk about our busy lives to each other as if it were a competition that determines our parental value in the world. Our children don’t know how to be still, to be quiet, and to just be.  They are adrenalin junkies, addicted to constant stimulation. Our media is filled with violence flashing before the eyes of little brains that can’t always understand the difference between real and make-believe. Our children are so overstimulated that they are numb—numb to blood, to bizarre behavior, to music that encourages promiscuity and rebellion masked and packaged as “individuality.” Our children, like never before, are being told what to think and shown how to act by watching reality television instead of walking through the realities of life with an older, wiser generation—mentoring them, teaching them, being present with them.

How does a beautiful all-American boy go from getting great grades, becoming king of the school, having every girl want to be with him and every guy want to be like him to such a tragic end?  How does an all-round talented guy—an “All State” football player who went on to represent the USA in Rugby Sevens and get a full-ride scholarship—implode emotionally to the point where he chooses to leave this world? How?

My blue-eyed boy who kissed his mother on the forehead every night and thanked her for dinner, this boy who loved his country, his God and his family—how did he end up alone in his dorm room, contemplating his death for hours, before inflicting the worst type of physical pain on himself and then dying terrified, gasping for air?

Let me tell you. It’s a slow seduction. It comes piece by excruciating piece—the voices and images are a perpetual hum, not a fearful crash. Nothing is shocking any more. Marijuana is harmless, they say. Maybe it is at the outset, but does it eventually spur on the quest for craving something a little bit more potent and better feeling? More adrenaline, higher and higher they cllimb, more and more numb to the still, small voice that says, “Hey—slow down. Stop and think about this for a minute. This could be bad.” Those voices are instead drowned out by the louder ones constantly whispering in their ears, in their heads and flashing before their eyes. This is what has the power to seduce our children and ourselves by seemingly insignificant pieces at first, then by larger consuming chunks in the end.

Today we are connected to everyone all the time. We know what Kathy (whom we have not seen since second grade) had for lunch today, when she is going to the mall, and what her cat is doing. Yet I wonder­—do we know that much about the people who live under our own roof? We are always connected, and yet this generation feels isolated and alone.

And so I wonder—with all the wounding, the parenting mistakes, all the things we did wrong and all the things we did right—I wonder if my beautiful son heard a dark whisper before he took his own life. I wonder if the whisper said, “It’s not worth the fight. They are better off without you any way. There is no one who really needs you. Just end the pain.”

And what I really wonder is this. Was he shocked by that voice or simply seduced by it, just like all the other little seductions infiltrating and overriding his heart since he was a little boy?

I miss my son. I will never recover from this loss, this void. Our once family of eight, now family of seven, will never be the same—ever.

But we can’t afford to dwell on things we had no control over. We can’t change the choices Michael made that exchanged a beautiful life for a painful death. We can, however, look deep within ourselves, our marriage and our children. We can ask questions about our lives and try at least to determine if our lifestyle is really bringing us any life at all?

The potential cost for not asking these important questions is so high—too high. How many more brilliant, creative geniuses do we parents have to bury before we wake up?

There are so many theories still surrounding Michael’s death. All I know for sure really is that I have five beautiful lives left, and even if I have to shout, I will look into their eyes, tell them the truth, and never stop fighting for what is far too precious to ever lose again to such needless tragedy.

 

 

I believe Lisa’s ability to cope with the pain from the loss of Michael is giving hope to her and also to her remaining children. A parent experiencing the death of an “only” child might have a more difficult time handling the dynamics of such a loss. The importance of listening to and understanding your children, ensuring that you do everything in your power to teach them the good things in life and how to try to reach out for the good is critical. You may not be able to control what choices they make once they leave the house, but perhaps it can give you some strength and solace as a parent knowing you did everything you possibly could to help them be the best people they can be. Don’t ever think too highly of your parenting abilities—no one is invincible here, and it’s easy to pass the blame to others. But if you try your hardest and you know you tried your hardest, don’t discount that either. We are all merely human and all in this together—whether we want to admit it or not.

About Lisa-Marie Black:

Lisa-Marie Black became a single parent in her twenties following the sudden loss of her first husband. This tragedy was followed later with a second marriage leading to the joys and trials of a blended family of six children. For the last 20 years she has worked with young mothers teaching them parenting and life skills. The Black family has traveled the world teaching, mentoring and training the next generation, culminating in co-founding “The World Race.” They also lived In Africa for a year building a village for orphans with AIDS. Lisa currently lives with her family in Colorado Springs, Colorado.

 

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  • Jason Stadtlander

Reader Testimonials
Reader Testimonials 150 150 Jason Stadtlander

What do you think of my books and stories?

Let the world and I know below! All comments are greatly appreciated.

 

 

  • Jason Stadtlander

I.T. by Day, Author by Night
I.T. by Day, Author by Night 150 150 Jason Stadtlander

Network AdministratorNo Right to Write

“What makes you think that a network administrator can write a novel?” a friend asked me a couple years ago – well, an ex-friend. Any friend who doesn’t support your ideas isn’t a true friend, in my opinion.

It’s a good question, however. The truth is, I suppose any network administrator out there may not be able to, but this network administrator was going to do it regardless of what people said.

One day back in 2004 while riding on the train, I pulled a notebook out of my backpack and scrawled:

The old lighthouse on the small rock island stood ominous, thirty feet above the water at its base. The weathered building raised four stories tall and attached to it was a light tower which reached another forty feet above that. The house, built in 1814, was well weathered and the shingles that covered it were missing in small patches on all four sides.

It was the first thing I had composed as an adult since several short stories I had written back when I was in middle and high school. I never did write more than two paragraphs of that story, and I don’t know if I ever will complete more with it. But since I first began writing back in sixth grade, I have one hundred and sixty-three short stories sitting on my computers and in notebooks (yes, the paper type). About a third of them have yet to be finished; be it from boredom with the story or life distractions such as children, I have yet to wrap them up. I would say another third are stories that either fascinated me or interested me at one point, but I decided for one reason or another that they don’t anymore.

Finally, the latter third I love and believe most readers will enjoy as well. I have dozens more trapped within my gray matter that have yet to make it on either paper or computer, but I’m always rolling them around in my mind, trying to decide if they will be published as a short story or expanded into a book.

WritingCreativity Begets Solution

Why am I successful as an I.T. professional and technology teacher? As I see it, it boils down to two things that not only help me as  the I.T. professional but also assist in my pursuits as a writer.

  • Creativity – In information technology, it’s important to be able to think outside the box. The means of achieving a goal may have dozens or even hundreds of solutions. Being able to think through several different ways for achieving those goals is critical. People don’t usually come to me because they want an answer to a problem they don’t know an answer to. They come to me because they have thought of  every solution they could think of and know that somehow, I will be able to come up with a few more.
    This obviously applies to writing as well. Creativity is critical with fiction (and some non-fiction) writing. Being able to dream up places, people, creatures, scenarios and settings that either never existed or have existed but you have no way of going there, requires a level of creativity.
  • Relatability – Being able to relate to others is one of the critical parts of helping people with computer problems, unless you plan to be like “Nick Burns the Company Computer Guy.” Being relatable helps me teach. Trying to put myself in another’s shoes, picture what they are going through, understand their frustration – this really is key.
    The same follows for writing. You can’t effectively write a character if you can’t imagine what it must be like to be that character, whether they are human, alien or animal. It’s part of the magic, getting to pretend you’re someone you aren’t.

“Dead or Alive, You’re Coming With Me…”

Ahhh, the famous words uttered by the wonderful B movie character RoboCop. So true though.

After writing for a while (as an adult), I came to the conclusion that, regardless of whether I published or didn’t publish, writing relieved stress. It let me escape from the mundane crap of my daily routine and detestable commute. Do I like taking the train into Boston every day, day in and day out? No. I hate it. In fact, I hate that I hate it, and that it hates me back most likely. Yeah, ponder that for a while.

Do I like my job in Boston? Yes. But not because of what I do. I like it because every once in while I hear “Thank you – you saved the day” or “Wow, I’m so glad you’re here – I never would have gotten that” to which I usually respond “No problem” or “You would have gotten it eventually, but I know you’re in a crunch.”

I work as a network administrator to pay the bills, put food on my children’s plate and keep a roof over our heads. I do enjoy being in Boston, but really, people…I hate the commute. There is absolutely nothing pleasant about having to leave my children every day and deal with the road-rage assholes all the way to the parking garage just to be crammed in a train that breaks down half the time full of people who don’t want to be there anyway.

So – I write. After work, I get on the train, put on my writing shoes…crazy isn’t it – that I wear different shoes for writing? Then I paint worlds that don’t exist, killers that never lived and situations that only the absurd would enter.

And I happily drag you along. So dead or alive – you’re coming right along with me!

  • Jason Stadtlander

Twisted Thursday: Massholes – It’s Their World, I Just Live in it
Twisted Thursday: Massholes – It’s Their World, I Just Live in it 150 150 Jason Stadtlander

I know, commenting on the state you live in is sort of like a goldfish sticking his tongue out at the sharks -but living in Massachusetts can at times be like living in a whole different universe.

There are 6,646,144 people living in Massachusetts (according to 2012 census). Of those, 53% were not born in the state, including me. Yes, that’s right – I’m a transplant. Most of you who know me, know that I was born in Ohio, cow-town USA…oh, sorry, I meant Columbus.

Massachusetts is interesting. It really is a wonderful state. Even though it’s tiny in comparison to other states I’ve lived in, there is so much diversity here. Not only are people from nearly ever walk of life, but there are awesome parks, tons of history, culture, museums and massholes.

Massholes, you say? What is a masshole? No, it’s not a mole that has strangely mutated into a Massachusetts-only animal. No, it’s not a giant pot-hole that you need to be cautious about falling into.

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Masshole

Experienced Masshole

Urban Dictionary has several definitions – but in the interest of keeping the blog family-friendly, I chose this definition:

1. For residents of Massachusetts, it is an achieved title for driving faster, being wreck-less, cutting other drivers off often, and having no patience for other drivers on the road.

That’s right, it is a coveted award provided to those who really don’t give a hoot about anyone else around them. I would also add to the definition that it can also be a pedestrian who thinks the sidewalk was laid out only for them. How dare others walk on their sidewalk!  

This has been a long-debated illness, researched and analyzed by the world’s greatest doctors and researchers. However, any time they attempt to ask a masshole a question, their head is bitten off and sadly, the research is lost.

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Masshole in Training

Masshole in Training

Massholes follow these generalizations:

  • They are generally taught at a young age to have no respect for other people in their community.
  • They are not granted a driver’s license unless they can show the Registry of Motor Vehicles that they can adequately flip someone off.
  • They must be able to and consistently park so that that their vehicle consumes two parking spaces with one vehicle.
  • They must believe that their state (Massachusetts) is the only valid state in the union.
  • They must be willing to kill a NY Yankee despite how attractive or nice the Yankee might be.
  • They must be willing to give someone their opinion at any time, especially when other people don’t want to hear it.

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    Masshole Parking

    Masshole Parking

  • Understand that St. Patricks Day is the only official holiday.
  • Must be willing to cut someone off, even if it means damaging their own car.

Yes, that pretty well defines the Masshole. In short, if you see someone out there driving around with a Masschusetts license plate and they have a knack for really pissing you off, I formally apologize from the rest of our state. That is, of course, unless it’s my car cutting you off.[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]
  • Jason Stadtlander

How to Handle Your Child’s Social Media Disaster
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In my last article, “Your Child: A Sheep Among the Wolves,” I discussed the dangers today’s parents are facing with the Internet and child predators. Today, I would like to focus on some of the more daunting questions dealing with what a parent can do when preventive measures are too late.

The case with Hannah Anderson and the Irish 17-year-old that was cyber-bullied after an Eminem concert are prime examples of children and social media run amuck. Anderson should never have had access to electronic devices until she and her family had time to grieve together and the Irish teen… well, I don’t even know where to start there.

So, let’s look at a few scenarios. I’ll tell you what my experience has shown, and I’ll interject some statements from law enforcement and professionals that have dealt with similar situations.

What happens when your child has been abducted by a predator and you don’t know who the predator is or where to look?

It is critical that you do not shut down or touch your child’s electronics (assuming they are still at the house). The first thing to do is contact local law enforcement. If you are talking about an abduction, dial 911 (or 999 for you UK readers). Time is critical when it comes to abduction by a predator. Local law enforcement has the ability to seize your children’s electronics in a way that allows them to capture the resident memory, active files and programs. That way they can do a forensic analysis and find out exactly who the child was talking to. Even if children have deleted their internet history, it will still be available for law enforcement.

Other than contacting law enforcement, what can parents do if their child has been cyber-bullied by classmates?

Discussion and education are important, and I have found that it can help children who have been cyber-bullied to discuss it with their peers in a controlled and supervised discussion so that it doesn’t happen to them. It helps them realize that they are not alone and that it should not occur. Lanae Holmes, Senior Family Advocacy Specialist for the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC), states that the healthiest thing to do is use the experience of cyber-bullying to raise awareness in the community. Holmes goes on to say, “It’s a good idea to host round table discussions in communities, schools and churches and ensure that something like that doesn’t occur in the future. Cyber-bullying should be used as a teaching tool. Children fit into different cliques in real life, so they tend to do the same thing online. This is what can lead to cyber-bullying and with technology it almost instantly goes viral.”

Holmes also states that one very good resource for parents needing quick answers to difficult cyber-related questions is NetSmartz411.org. You can ask questions in real format and get good results on both preventive and reactive methodologies.

The viral aspect of cyber-bullying is what makes it that much more damaging psychologically. We aren’t talking about one or two people seeing a negative or defamatory comment about someone or something — we are talking about everyone who is “friends” with one another seeing it. Let’s face it, one way or another, nearly every child will be connected with everyone else in the school through social media.

“Kids are getting the same feelings, love, adoration, etc. that we get offline. The relationships might not be real, but the feelings are,” says Holmes.

A cyber-bullying incident is also a good chance for you to find out how your children operate on the internet. Rather than asking them questions outright, take advantage of your children’s desire to prove they know more than you. Have them show you how their favorite social media websites work and sit down with them to become educated. It’s a chance for you to interact, to learn and also show that you are interested in your children’s “virtual lives” as well as their real lives.

How should children be handled after a traumatic event (in terms of allowing them to be online, electronics, etc.)?

This is where the Hannah Anderson case comes into question. Privacy for a family is very important, even more so after a traumatic event. “Internet is part of their daily life and social outlet. She may have been reaching out for support and community validation,” states Holmes. “She really should have been connected to professional crisis counselors beforehand. Being on the internet opens her up to scrutiny from the rest of the world and many children in today’s society live out on the internet.”

After a traumatic event such as abduction, loss of a loved one, natural disaster, etc., children should be isolated from all electronics, at least until they have had time to grieve in real life with family. It would be no different than a family not wanting to take phone calls or talk to anyone until they really had time to absorb what happened. Reasonably, this would be a week or two, but the time determinant should really fall under the better judgment of a professional grief counselor.

“She [Anderson] should have consulted with the adults in her life before going online at all,” states Holmes. The first priorities should be to:

  • Encourage families to connect with local professionals
  • Engage with church communities and school communities to help deal with the trauma

If someone has e-personated you or your child, how can you clean up the mess?

“If they haven’t already been contacted, [local] law enforcement should be contacted first. Especially if it’s dealing with possible identity theft. People may be inclined to contact the FBI, but the first step should be to call local law enforcement. Local law enforcement generally has better tools to handle internet impersonation and identity theft. If it looks like it will be a much bigger case then the local authorities will contact us. The most critical part of cyber-crime is the element of time. The quicker that action can be taken the sooner the clean-up can begin,” states Supervisor Special Agent Kevin Swindon of the Boston FBI Cyber Crimes Division.

When you have found out someone has either stolen your identity or is e-personating, both the FBI and NCMEC recommend you contact the administrator of the website to request removal. “Any reputable social website will have an abuse page or a reporting page that you can get in touch with the administrators,” says Swindon.

I have contacted Facebook, Twitter and a few other sites personally to request removal of some e-personators as well as to deal with issues regarding cyber-bullying and identity theft. I have yet to find a website that doesn’t respond within 24 hours (if not sooner). It is, after all, their business, and ultimately their reputation on the line.

How can you tell if someone is e-personating someone you know?

Most people will find out they are being e-personated from a friend who is upset — who couldn’t believe you said something (that you didn’t say) or from a sudden influx of email and contact from people they don’t know. My best advice is this. Search for yourself online regularly. Run a Google search on yourself at least once a month to see what pops up and deal with it immediately. It’s much better to be proactive than reactive.

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  • Jason Stadtlander

Twisted Thursday – The Candy Crush Zombie
Twisted Thursday – The Candy Crush Zombie 150 150 Jason Stadtlander

Stepping onto the train and walking down the aisle, I pass person after person trying to get their green candies to line up . . . trying to break the chocolate or hoping for those sprinkle candies. Everywhere I look – on Kindles, on iPads on Andoids and on Laptops – it’s everywhere! How on earth could people be so infatuated with this game?! I wonder, exasperated, then lift up my iPhone and begin to tackle Level 53 – freaking Jellies!

Candy CrushFor those who have no idea what I’m talking about, Candy Crush is one of the latest insane fads on Facebook and a few other social websites. It also has apps you can download on iTunes, Droid store and more. It’s basically a sweetly-modified version of Bejeweled and no . . . it’s not related to PopCap Games (the makers of Bejeweled, Plants v. Zombies and Peggle). Candy Crush is made by a company called King Games, and they have done a great job harnessing the social game aspect of it.

Candy Crush is a great game, but it’s also two other things; a tremendous waste of time (nice sometimes, bad at others) but also a tremendous money waster. Admit it, you too have gone, “Yeah, why not . . . it’s only 99 cents for a few of those ‘Smash a candy’ suckers.” Cheater! Oh, that’s right . . . that was me.

All joking aside, Candy Crush has two alluring parts to it:

1. It allows you to do something on your own that’s fun and brainless.

2. It allows you to help and get help from friends (in fact, you must get help with some levels).

You have to wonder though, what is it about the game that makes it so popular? It boils down to one simple word: “viral.” The entire concept of the game, by default, causes you to brag to your friends that you completed a level, and you get additional “goodies” simply for inviting more people to play. Then they get more goodies for inviting others to play and those people spend 99 cents for a a sprinkle candy . . . and  *breathe*  . . . before you know it, King Games has made King Money.

So, in a nutshell, enjoy the game, but remember where the real world is and how to get back to it. Because if you don’t, then your brain just might be “tasty” or “delicious!”

P.S. If you want my advice, don’t ever listen to the tips (flashing candies), they just waste your moves. Argh!
  • Jason Stadtlander

Your Child: A Sheep Among the Wolves
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Walking into the small room at the Massachusetts Foster Parent program, I saw several faces I recognized and several I didn’t — all of them eager to hear some information on how they could wrap their minds around the technological mystery that today’s youth have grown up in. According to the most recent report by the US Department of Health and Human Services, 676,569 children were the victims of child abuse and neglect in 2011. And of that number, more than 24 percent of victims were younger than 3 years old, so the need to educate ourselves and prevent predators from reaching out to our children has never been stronger. Although most modern parents have been exposed to the Internet, there are still many who have barely touched a computer. To complicate things further, the technological and social networking elements change as fast as the weather.

Sitting down at the makeshift conference table, I gave my regular introduction but kept my presentation short. I have learned in these groups that rather than lecturing to participants, it is better to open up a Q&A session. Parents (especially foster parents) have questions — tons of questions — about safety, about what their children are facing, about bullying and how to prevent access to their children’s information. Many children are taught that Internet dangers exist, but the risk is that they might encounter someone who knows how to manipulate them by taking advantage of their natural innocence and need to reach out. If parents really knew the extent of the dangers out there, they might take their computers and bury them in a six-foot hole in the backyard. This of course is ridiculous and not an option, but the repulsion over what lies waiting for our children is a call to action.

I’m not talking about drugs, porn, sex or anything of the sort — this can all be discussed and handled. The greatest dangers lurk in the idle activities children engage in while reaching out to peers stemming from the need to connect: Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Digger, Instagram, etc. The list of social networking and feed-related organizations out there is a mile long.

During this particular discussion, a mother sat across the table from me, nicely dressed, her left arm tattooed with an elegant Celtic design. She stared at me, and there was a moment of silence followed by, “I have a 13-year-old girl at home who was e-personated on Facebook and was badly bullied by friends at school because of it.”

My heart sank. It is something I have seen dozens of times and sadly, something that is difficult to prevent up front and to clean up afterward. Basically, what the mother told me was that her foster child was a victim of online impersonation. A predator created a Facebook account and acted as if he were this girl, using stolen pictures of her — no doubt from her own Facebook account. The person went on to friend all of her friends and began spreading rumors and lies about the girl and her drug-addicted birth mother. Just wait — the story gets worse. The person doing this “e-personation” was a male in his forties who was infatuated with the girl but someone she had never even met.

This is exactly the kind of situation I see all the time when trying to protect children online. In 2010, one in five adolescents said they had been cyberbullied at some point in their lives, and about that same number admit to having been a cyberbully. So one in 10 adolescents had been both a cyberbully and a victim.

Another parent in the room asked how that predator could e-personate someone, especially a child. So I provided an example. Let’s flip things around and look at this from the child-predator perspective. First, he (or she) chooses a community, most likely one far from his own so he is not easily discovered. He identifies the schools in the town, then visits the schools’ websites to check out what various children have posted about sports, games, theater — until locating the perfect little girl or boy who fits his “taste.” He spots the child of interest and reads the caption with the child’s name.

Let’s say the school is at least being a little protective and doesn’t use the child’s first name but rather the first initial followed by her last name as in “J. Doe.” Well, the person sees the little girl on a soccer team. So chances are that the little girl has other interests in soccer or has been involved in some other activity. The predator does a search on the web for “J. Doe” and adds in the keyword “soccer,” along with other keywords like the town or the name of the school. In the results, the predator then sees “Jane Smith” who is part of a group on Facebook that has several other students in the same group because whoever created that group didn’t take the time to lock down the group’s visibility on search engines.

Clicking the link, the predator can confirm that the girl is who he thinks she is because her face matches the one on the school website. Now he can see her Facebook profile. Because she isn’t privacy-savvy, she also has “Dad,” “Mom” and a few other people labeled in her friends’ list — so the predator now has additional names to use for his search, helping him acquire an address.

Within 30 minutes the predator now has:

  • Identity: Jane Doe, age 9
  • Parents: John and Betty Doe
  • Address: 123 Some Street
  • School: Town Memorial School
  • Communication: established with Jane via Messenger

What can you do to prevent this?

In my recent book, The Steel Van Man, a serial killer hunts down and kills people who abuse children — vigilante justice, and not something I recommend. But as a parent, there are several real precautions you can take to prevent such actions on the part of the predator. Be forewarned, your children may not be happy with your attempt to protect. These efforts are in every child’s best interest, however, and I advise you to initiate these protections, explaining why they are important to your child.

  1. Most important? Talk to your children, maintaining an open dialogue at all times. This way, they know to be on the alert — even with people who seem to be their friends — and hopefully, they will let you know if something doesn’t feel right.
  2. Install monitoring/blocking software such as K9 or System Surveillance Pro. Learn how to use it and check it regularly. This software is only as good as the parent who monitors it.
  3. Record passwords for all your children’s social networking accounts. If, heaven forbid, something should happen to your child, you need to know where to investigate.
  4. Disable “Location Services” on the camera of your child’s iPod, mobile phone or any other device that can take pictures. This prevents the GPS coordinates from being embedded in the photos.

I always encourage parents to ask me if they have questions or concerns. Communication and information are the keys to protecting our children, and when it comes to our kids, there are no stupid questions.

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  • Jason Stadtlander

Twisted Thursday – Nature in the way? We’ll move it!
Twisted Thursday – Nature in the way? We’ll move it! 150 150 Jason Stadtlander

Let me preface this by saying I am by no means a tree hugging, granola chewing (hmm, I do like granola though), Whole Foods shopping health nut. For the record I still prefer real  toilet paper, not that sandpaper recycled junk – however, I do firmly believe there is a time for working with nature and working against it.

Let’s face it, we are nothing more than a pimple on the planet’s bottom. We are teeny tiny in the great scheme of things. That being said, we can harm nature around us. No we are not going to destroy the planet… But we do have the potential to make it uninhabitable for the next couple hundred years, which would basically suck for us.

AH! My house is flooded!

A river runs through it

Case in point, my good friend and editor Linda Sickinger owns a house, built back in the times of those who wouldn’t think of trying to change the land around them but rather build a home to suit the land around it, back in the 1800’s. Then in the mid-twentieth century some genius south of their home had the plan to build a dam so that the land south of the dam wouldn’t get flooded. Well, guess what happened with that plan? That’s right! At least once a year Linda and her husband have to pull out a canoe to get groceries because their little house becomes an island. Could be worse, they could need a submarine, but that’s not the point. The point is, we try and mold nature to our whim and nature spits in our face and laughs at us for trying.

New Orleans FloodedThe bayou is a’ growin’

Katrina was a prime example of how nature will basically do whatever the hell it wants, our plans be damned. It breached the levies laid out around the city of New Orleans, forever changing the landscape and many people’s lives.

Stop being cheap!

So, what’s the solution to all of this? Well the Europeans learned a long time ago that it made more sense to work with nature than against it. Take the canals of Paris and Venice for example. Yes, they did move things around a little, but they still allowed the water to flow around. If anything we could use this to our advantage, building passive water wheels (that don’t use dams but rather sit on top of the water using the flow) to generate electricity or pump water elsewhere.

We can build houses and buildings that allow the natural flow of nature around it and perhaps come up with innovative architecture in the process. We are but temporary residents on this planet and it has had a life since long before our time and will continue to long after we are gone.

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