Thanksgiving is over and now the holidays approach. ‘Happy Holidays’ all the retailers say with their ridiculous marketing plastered everywhere the day after Halloween.
I would like to say that the holidays have always been a nice, happy time. Full of family cheer and old relatives visiting that we haven’t seen all year long. A nice fire burning in the living room as people laugh over a glass of thick delicious eggnog or hot chocolate, savoring the delicious food and cookies scattered throughout the house. The smell of pine in the air as the tree stands proudly decorated in the corner and candy canes hang upon it. Perhaps a fat jolly adult dressed in a Santa Claus outfit walks throughout the party distributing funny, small presents to everyone from his big bag. Yes, I would like to say that.
This however would be a lie. I didn’t have a bad childhood, but it was most definitely not like those picturesque moments torn from the scenes of a Normal Rockwell painting. Our house was not illuminated with the internal warmth from a Thomas Kinkade painting either. In fact, I would say it was more accurately described as Edvard Munch’s Scream. That harsh truth to the human existence that can only be described as fear. Fear for the holidays anyone? My mother was far from a kind, loving mother. I suppose she loved me in her own way and as a child, I thought she was very loving and kind. It was only later that I discovered her to be a sadistic killer. Even as I saw her kill my father and mutilate his corpse, it never occurred to me that this was anything but ‘normal’.
The truth was, my father was a loving, caring man. He loved his children deeply, but unfortunately he had not married a woman… He had married a monster. I have no doubt that he must have grasped at some point the monster whom he had married, perhaps not until it was too late. Or, perhaps he knew after we were already born but chose to stay to protect us. The sad reality is, I will never know the truth, at least not as far as his feelings toward my mother. I still have his tape recordings which he made to us and through those, I can tell he loved us. His beautifully preserved skull does nothing but stare back at me through the glass, right beside my mothers. So I raise a glass to you both, Happy Holidays Mom and Dad.
About The Steel Van Man Chronicles
The Steel Van Man is a thriller that was released in August of 2013 about a serial killer who hunts down those that abuse children. You can get the full book here. The “Chronicles” are the continuing journal of the serial killer from its point of view as it continues through its daily life.