parenthood

The Little Boy - Jason Stadtlander

The Little Boy

The Little Boy 600 400 Jason Stadtlander

A little boy sits on the plush carpet of the warm house, playing with his plastic dinosaurs, one T-Rex battles a brontosaur and of course, the T-Rex wins. A pterodactyl swoops in and attacks the T-Rex, dropping a rock on him from high above and saving the brontosaur. “Bam!” the little boy says excitedly, giggling with the innocent laughter that only a small child can elicit.

A young father sits in his recliner, reading the newspaper, glancing down at his small boy playing and he smiles, then goes back to the classified section to continue his job hunt, so that he can continue to give that little boy a warm home to play dinosaurs in.

Not many years later, that little boy tells the father how much he hates him for the rules that he locks him down with and in haste, leaves the warm home, breaking the heart of the man who looked down at the little boy on the carpet playing with his dinosaurs. The father can’t understand how the little boy went from the pure child on the carpet with the soft laughter to the teen whose anger has consumed him.

Some time passes and the boy has made a few more steps down the wrong road and is sitting on the curb outside of the apartment he was just evicted from with three boxes sitting next to him, his life possessions. He reaches into the box and pulls out a plastic pterodactyl and a T-Rex and he wishes secretly to himself that he could fly away on the plastic dinosaur. The boy thinks about how last night he came so close to taking his own life in his depressed fog. Somehow, something stayed his hand but only he knew how close he came. These thoughts flow through his mind as a car pulls up the curb. The passenger window rolls down and the father smiles from the driver’s seat and gets out. Picking up the boxes and placing them in the back of the car, the father scoops up his little boy and helps him into the passenger seat.

More years pass and the boy finds himself sitting beside the bed in the warm house he grew up in, holding his father’s hand. He tells his father that he is sorry for how he treated him years ago and how much he loves him. His father smiles and squeezes the boy’s hand telling him simply “I know you love me, I’ve always known, even when you didn’t know.” as the father takes his last breath.

In grief, the boy sits on a folding chair by the stone which bears his father’s name, and sets his plastic T-Rex and pterodactyl on the top of the stone, then puts his face in his own hands and cries silently. While sitting at the stone, he feels a hand touch him and turns around to see his small boy’s hand on his shoulder. The boy, now a father, smiles as a few tears stream down his face and he picks up the T-Rex and pterodactyl, handing them to the little boy who takes them with his own innocent smile.

In a warm house, the little boy sits on the carpet and plays with the pterodactyl and T-Rex as the man sits in a recliner reading the news and smiling down at the little boy on the carpet, playing dinosaurs.

Jason

PFP (Acrostic) First Moments of Fatherhood

PFP (Acrostic) First Moments of Fatherhood 1536 2048 Jason Stadtlander

“First Moments of Fatherhood”

In the hallowed warmth of blankets he lays swaddled,
Warm and still in the first moments of life.
Bundled in blue and white wrappings,
Can such a beautiful thing be possible?
I am at a loss for words, I am mesmerized,
I gaze at the wonder of this human in my arms.
Gentle dawn of life, this singular soul I have helped create.
I feel alterity, isolated in an unbreachable moment of time, I hold my boy.
As his small eyes flutter behind new eyelids, he dreams of what?
My son and I are solitary in this moment,
Held in a point I want to cradle forever.
I feel and I am devoid of thought, for in this moment
I do not remember the past or care about the future.
Surpassing intrigue, time itself slows, as I hold my son for the first time.

About This Poetry Form

Name: Acrostic Poetry
Description: An acrostic poem is a type of poetry where the first, last or other letters in a line spell out a particular word or phrase. The most common and simple form of an acrostic poem is where the first letters of each line spell out the word or phrase. In this particular poem you will find who I am devoting this poem to by incrementing a letter on each line from the beginning going down.

About This Series

Read more about this series here.

 

 

A Father’s Letter to His Son

A Father’s Letter to His Son 150 150 Jason Stadtlander

My Dear Son,

My life changed forever on that beautiful day in the hospital when you first came into my life. I looked down into your amazing blue eyes and you stared back up at mine and I was hypnotized, mesmerized by a life that I had helped to create. There should have been a fear of the awesome responsibility that I was facing, but the fear was not there. Just the magic of that singular moment. A moment that I have since looked back on many times and a moment that has brought me strength in recent years.

10846165_890746024282985_6486500675104009361_nI know that some of the decisions I have made may not make sense to you now and they may not make sense to you for a long time. But understand that those decisions have always been with you and your brother in mind. I have never missed a school event and never missed a game if I can help it. I may not be in many photos with you, but that’s only because I’ve always been the one behind the camera and cheering you on.

I know that this past year has been particularly trying for all of us and you and your brother have both had doubts, concerns and frustrations. Please know my son, I have only two goals in my life that truly matter and I will never, ever stop until they are reached; That is to ensure that you and your brother grow to be strong, healthy and intelligent men. Men that people can look up to and respect, men that in turn respect those around them and think before they act.

I am not perfect and I never professed to be, but my love for you is perfect, as is your love for me. You are well mannered, kind, respectful and oh-so-silly. I may not be the perfect father, but I pray to God day after day, night after night, that I may be your perfect dad.

 

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