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Your Call is So Important to Us, We’d Rather a Computer Answer
Your Call is So Important to Us, We’d Rather a Computer Answer 150 150 Jason Stadtlander

Please Enjoy Our Human Touch… After the beep

I called Amazon.com yesterday, got a nice enough woman in the Philippines who did her best to help but she ended up transferring me to an automated system where I had to leave a message into the black hole of technology.

Furthermore, I had to send an email to Amazon to ask them a question about my seller account, I had forgotten which email address was associated with it. The trick is, you need to send it from the email that the account is under. The email automaton transmits an email back that says “For security reasons you must send your inquiry from the registered email address. If you need help changing your address, please login to your account using your registered email address and change it.”

I stared in disbelief – that someone somewhere actually typed up that automated response and thought it made sense. Seriously?

Welcome to the world of IVR which stands for Interactive Voice Response system. Anytime you are listening to a computer talk to you and have to press buttons or speak back to it, you are talking to an IVR system.

Later That Afternoon

I’m having problems with my Verizon FIOS service, so I call Verizon. To which I get an automated system that asks me what my problem is in ‘simple words’. I respond by barking with frustration “This stupid piece of shit won’t work!”

I hate IVRThe automated woman on the other end states “I think you said your having problems with your service, is that correct?”

With a surprised smile on my face I say, “Yes”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t understand that response. I think you said your having problems with your service, is that correct?”

Getting more frustrated at having to talk to a computer I bleat out “Yes! Yes! You stupid moron!”

“Thank you, let me get someone that can help you with that.” She replies pleasantly.

I pull the phone away from my ear and stare at it.

Outweighing the Pros with tAutomaton IVRhe Cons

It’s something we are all facing more and more, the migration to the mechanical. It has to raise the question, does it really help?

Pros
1. Service is consistent from call to call (even if it stinks, it is consistent)
2. Call data and demographics can be analyzed a lot more effectively.
3. Customers can access information 24 hours a day through database IVR system.

Cons
1. People get frustrated talking to machines. Especially when they don’t understand you.
2. It loses the personal touch.
3. People lose jobs due to the implementation of these systems.
4. Sometimes all it does is raise your blood pressure before you do talk to someone, so that by the time you reach a live person, you are already so angry you want to reach through the phone and strangle them.
5. Most importantly, it loses the personal touch.

All joking aside, I really do think we need to look at the migration to technology for personal interaction. I absolutely think there are places for computers to take the place of humans. However, I am not really convinced that customer service or anything where the image of your business is on the line – is the place for that introduction.

  • Jason Stadtlander

Twisted Thursday – Coffee: Nectar of the Gods
Twisted Thursday – Coffee: Nectar of the Gods 150 150 Jason Stadtlander

I walk downstairs and trip over a toy on the stairs and grumble, walk into the dining room and trip over the rug, step into the kitchen and knock a dish off the counter. Am I a klutz? Well… yes, but that’s not the point – I haven’t yet had my coffee. I am a walking zombie needing my life blood, that which enriches my soul and starts my engine – my coffee.

History of the Bean

Why is coffee such a populaThe lovely coffee beanr thing? Let’s look at the history for a moment.

Coffee was discovered to have stimulating effects in Africa as the ancient Ethiopian people first discovered the plant and what it could do to enhance their lives. However, it was in Arabia that they first had the genius idea of roasting the seeds from the plant, ground them down and turned them into the delicious beverage we know today.

Coffee quickly spread throughout Europe as the ‘miracle drug’, providing a stimulant that cured headaches and woke up even the grouchiest unhappy person.

Brazil and Italy further went on to refine the bean into extremely potent strong beans, capable of leaping over mountains in a single bound and causing the dead to wake up and dance for joy, while causing heart-attacks with others (which brought joy to even more). In fact, the Italians first fashioned the Coffe-a-nator (also referred to as the Coffinator), rapid firing espresso beans at the stuffy French and British, transforming the European continent into an espresso sipping empire.

Coffee Regions and RoastsClimates and Flavors

All joking aside, coffee has proven to be an amazing plant, but is particular to where it is grown. Generally you can only find it in warm climates such as Africa, South America, Central America and the Pacific Islands (including Hawaii). Every location claims to have their best bean and their best roast, which offers a wide variety for every connoisseur and every taste.

Coffee is has traditionally been planted by placing twenty seeds in a hole during rainy season, though in Brazil they raise the coffee plants in nurseries and then plant them outside once they have matured.

Coffee ranges from a light green bean to the darker seeds of Arabia. They are still predominantly harvested by hand, sorted and then dried before roasting. Sometimes they are laid out on large tables to dry or on a flat open area in the sunlight.

Fresh Brewed CoffeeRoasting to release the flavor

Roasting the coffee bean affects the flavor and intensity of the bean. Roasting doesn’t actually start in the bean until it reaches an internal temperature of 392 °F (200 °C). During roasting the bean actually caramelizes, breaking down the starch inside the bean which is what changes it from a green color to the familiar darker colors we know.

Depending on the bean, the longer you roast, the richer the flavor. But it’s a very fine line that you must walk to make sure that you don’t burn the bean.

Decaffeinating

Yeah, we won’t discuss that here as it’s sacrilegious.

Brew those beans baby!

Last but not least, we grind up the beans (if you’re like me, you grind them right before you brew them) and then brew them in hot water either steeping over the beans as it flows into the carafe or by french press – which has gotten more popular and provides a brew in approximation to how espresso is brewed under high pressure.

Now, sadly, I tend to ruin mine with cream and sugar, but… I do enjoy it black as well. But I’m picky about what coffee I drink black. It must be a dark french roast.

So, what’s your poison?

 

  • Jason Stadtlander

The Importance of Child Literacy
The Importance of Child Literacy 150 150 Jason Stadtlander

My son sits reading “Charlotte’s Web” by E.B. White, one of my personal favorite books. He’s eight years old and now reads on the fourth grade level and so fast it hinders him to read out-loud.  I glance over and the page says:

Some of Wilbur’s friends worried for fear all this attention would go to his head and make him stuck up. But it never did. Wilbur was modest; fame did not spoil him. He still worried about the future, as he could hardly believe that a mere spider would be able to save his life.

Read to your childMemories Resurfaced

It brought back memories, memories of myself sitting by my grandmother’s fireplace in the house on the farm back in Loudonville, Ohio – on a winter day as the snow beat against the bay window in her living room. The pine floors and the pine ceiling surrounding me with the green and white paisley wallpaper and the silence of the farm. My grandmother always read to me and later showed me how to read simple books like “Dick and Jane” or “The Very Hungry Caterpillar“. My very favorite book; “The best nest” by P.D. Eastman still has a very fond shelf in my memory. However, it’s not the incredible illustrations or the cute story that makes this book my favorite… it’s the fact that my grandmother, someone who was very  dear to me read it to me. I can still hear her voice in my head as she sang the tune that the birds used to sing in the book. It wasn’t a written tune, but one she had made up:

I love my house. I love my nest. In all the world, this nest is best.

It’s a bittersweet memory, given the fact that she passed away when I was 14. But, it brings warmth to hear that voice in my head, singing that song after twenty six years.

The Critical Bond

Teaching your children to read is a very, very important skill, but reading to your children is even more important. It builds memories and it creates a foundation for them that they will never forget.

Take time to read to your children and your grandchildren, because you never know if it might be the memory that survives, decades after your gone.

The Worlds that it Opens Up

I am now a writer and an author myself. I wonder often if my grandmother had not helped to build that foundation, would I still have this desire to write and to create worlds. Perhaps I would, but it’s so much richer having had her help me learn to read and spending the time to read to me.

Teaching your children to read helps them realize a world beyond their own. Helps them discover places that could never exist, people that are only imaginary and also it helps them learn about our past.

My eight year old son has a personal goal – Read at least one a day. He’s been known to stay up “too late” to do so, but I’m proud of him none the less.

  • Jason Stadtlander

A Bee in the Jungle
A Bee in the Jungle 150 150 Jason Stadtlander

The life of a bee

A bee flys around, leaving its hive. Perhaps at first the bee simply follows other bees, because it’s really not sure about where its going or what its duties might be. So, it follows a more mature bee that has experience finding the flowers nearby. In the lush jungle a bee might fly as far as three miles to find the perfect flower with enough pollen for it to bring back. It flys the same path, sometimes within only feet from its original outbound path from the hive and then goes into the hustle and bustle of the hive.

This is its world. The hive, the flower, the hive again.

A train bound for nowhere

So, here I sit, a man on a train bound for NYC, another jungle as it were – made of concrete and steel. As my train flys by towns at 100-120 mph, I watch people – people who have no idea they are being viewed and thought about, people going about their daily routine. There is a group of men pouring a concrete platform to mount dairy processing equipment on for a local ice cream manufacturer. Just down the street from them, two  children are walking to school. Another block down the tracks is an old building being demolished to make way for a new building or perhaps nothing more than a parking lot.

A bee in a jungleEveryone has his own little task in his own micro-universe, going about his own life in a tiny little piece of the world.

The macro lens

So what makes us function as a world, as a society? Is it the fact that some of us step out of that little universe we live in and reach out to others? Is it because, although we exist on a tiny level, we can still see beyond the small at the whole of society and the world around us? Perhaps it is those who cannot see the bigger picture, cannot mentally step outside of the their hamster wheel, that cause our nearsightedness at times.

Believe me, I’m not an “all we are saying is give peace a chance” preacher. Far from it . . . we are what we are. I would like to believe that there is a greater good that we are all reaching for, something that will make the world better for all of us. But we can’t change the true nature of what we are. We might be capable of horrifically heinous acts of violence and terrible things on a global scale, but what is amazing about the human race is that we are also capable of incredible and amazing acts of love, beauty and enrichment.

It’s what you choose to look at – stepping off your path outside the hive and flying to the flower that makes you a better person – and ultimately, makes the world a better place.

  • Jason Stadtlander

Twisted Thursday: A terrible mind is scary to waste…
Twisted Thursday: A terrible mind is scary to waste… 150 150 Jason Stadtlander

 

For some of this to make sense, you would need to know me personally. But let me try to lay it out for you.

Funny Talents – Dangerous Talents

I walk into a room and tell a good friend and colleague of fifteen years that it must be hard to bend over, given how old he is. He looks back at me with a scowl and waits for the punch line. After a brief pause, I break into my old man voice saying, “Freaking whipper snappers . . . thinking they know everything.” And he starts to laugh.

Having worked in radio for several years, being a voice actor and having a talent for voices, I have about 15-20 voices in my repertoire that my children get to choose from including: The Old Crotchety Man, Gollum, Gomer Pyle, Ronald Reagan, Bing Crosby (singing) and quite a few less politically-correct voices. In short, if I can hear a voice, I can usually reproduce it with some accuracy.

Now, I have used my vocal talents for everA terrible mind is a scary thing to wasteything from my video trailers to getting my father to pull the car over on the interstate by doing a realistic siren from the back seat – things that, in the moment at least, can be quite amusing.

Mental Breakdowns

One thing I’ve been watching lately, sadly, is friends whose parents have been aging, often developing dementia or Alzheimer’s. It’s very sad watching someone who was vibrant with life deteriorate and become less of the person he was, eventually remembering nothing of his life.

So what worries me?

I fear for the individual who cares for me, should I ever follow that path. Just picture the poor nurse who walks in one day to make a meal and sees me hovering over the dining room table saying, “My . . . . precious . . . . we swears to be good to the prrrreeecccious,” and then the next minute breaking into my best K-Mart intercom voice announcing, “Ladies and gentleman, please make your way to the front counter and take advantage of our eighty percent sale off  Maxi Pads! Get them now, before the sale is all dried up!”

 

  • Jason Stadtlander

Frankly Friday – Parents: Those Left Behind
Frankly Friday – Parents: Those Left Behind 150 150 Jason Stadtlander

Everyone counts

A close friend told me a few weeks ago about a friend of hers who lost her son Michael Black.

It got me thinking about the people I know who have lost children. I have heard many times the axiom “Parents should never have to outlive their children.”  Being a father of two, as many of you know – I happen to agree with that statement.

 

How they touch us

We parents have children for a number of reasons:

  • For company
  • For comfort
  • For a part of us to live on after we are gone
  • For an offspring in this world who is part of the person you love
  • For blessing in disguise (in that we may not have planned to have them at all)

And of course there are those who have children who never should have had them – but then that’s not the point of this blog article.

Those of us who do have children (and many who don’t) know that children are a very special gift. They are a link to our past and a hope for our future. They connect us in ways to the world around us that we never thought possible until we had them. We watch children grow from babbling little balls of drooling, diaper-filled-giggle-jiggle creatures, to young people developing thoughts of their own and finally, to young adults who find their place in this world independent of us. They go about creating and finding their own dreams, hopefully achieving them, and drag you along for the ride in ways you never imagined possible – often in ways you never wanted to imagine . . . but you trod along with them regardless, through the bad times as well as the good.

The news that none of us wants

Then, one fateful day, one of our  friends, family members or loved ones receives a call – a  call that in six words shatters your world forever: “I’m sorry. Your child is dead.”

What do you do at a time like that – what does anyone do?

You curl up in a ball – physically, mentally and emotionally – and you cry. Your world is falling in on  itself and you feel as if an entire skyscraper has caved in upon you. You yearn to be comforted, but you want to be left alone at the same time. Most importantly, you want the pain of loss to go away and you want your child to be remembered – to have a chance to live out all the experiences that you are now starting to realize will never come to pass; to never graduate from high school, to never fall in love, to never be married, to never know the beauty of having their own children. And if that child is very young, that “never going to happen” experience may even be a little thing, seemingly insignificant, like never losing that first tooth.

It’s a horrible thing to lose your mother, your father or even your spouse, but in each of these cases, you can go on. Moving on after the loss of a child is something that is never really possible. The depth of loss burrows itself like a tick in the skin of your soul and heart, festering, and creating a hole that will never be filled – ever.

Recovering from the pain

Whether you believe in God, believe in heaven, hell or simply believe that we go nowhere after we die – everyone has his beliefs in what lies beyond, even if it’s no belief at all. I personally believe in God. I just have a hard time believing that all of this bio engineering is simply here by “chance” of evolution.

My beliefs are not the point here, however.

Lisa, I don’t know you – though anyone who has best friends like you is in my opinion a wonderful person. I just want you to know that regardless of whether I (or other people) know you or not, there are people who have you in their hearts, myself included.

I don’t know the pain of losing a child, and I pray that I never do. I am, however, an author. It’s my job to imagine the unimaginable. I frequently find myself trying to put my head into the mind of killers, cops, men, women, children and teens. So it’s not a huge stretch to contemplate and imagine what it must be like to lose a child; but it hurts to even imagine it, and frankly, I’m not sure it’s something I could handle, even with the loving support of friends and family.

It’s up to each person drenched in grief as to whether or not he accepts that comfort or denies that support. Now, I’m not saying that accepting the comfort is always the right answer; sometimes it’s not. At times people need to heal just by being left alone. But eventually, we all need someone to hold a hand, offer a hug, or perhaps just fall asleep beside.

And we’ve all heard those well-intended words: “God never throws you anything you can’t handle.” But let’s be frank here – I think that’s bullshit at times. God throws you things all the time that you can’t handle. But that’s what friends are for, that’s what family is for and that’s what spouses are for.  I can’t think of a single person who has lost someone they love who had absolutely no one else in life to offer comfort.

If there is one commonality in this world, it’s that we don’t have to go through sadness and tragedy alone. Even if I don’t know you well . . . if you’re in pain and you need my comfort, I will be there for you if I can. We are all human, after all, and we are all in this together. So, if you see anyone who has lost a child, reach out to that person. If your comforting gesture or words are not accepted, that’s fine, but be there regardless. That’s the important part.

 

  • Jason Stadtlander

Twisted Thursday – Death by Soft-serve
Twisted Thursday – Death by Soft-serve 150 150 Jason Stadtlander

Soft Serve IcecreamWe went to a buffet this weekend at Foxwoods. If my six-year-old had his way, he would have stuck his face under the spigot of the soft-serve ice cream machine and pulled the trigger. Subsequently pouring a few spoonfuls of sprinkles, chocolate chips and chocolate syrup into his mouth to top it all off. Which I would have had to follow with a shot of insulin for the diabetes that he would have no doubt induced.

Fortunately I limited his sugar intake to only a bowl. I will add though that his dinner consumption hardly warranted a buffet. Now my other son, ate a good dinner and a modest desert (only one helping of ice-cream and a brownie).

What is it about sugar that we are so fascinated with? I would claim it’s a childhood thing, but then I would just go home and have a bowl of Breyer’s mint chocolate chip with a couple of Oreos and I would be a liar.

Sugar AttackBelieve it or not, sugar is not a natural part of our diet. On the contrary, the only time our ancestors (and I am talking thousands of years ago, not centuries) ever ate sugar was through the eating of fruit. So how have we become so hooked on the culinary ecstasy?

Sugar was not always plentiful and many cultures have used honey or maple syrup as sweeteners  Sugarcane is actually native plant of the tropical southern Asia  continent, many varieties came from the Indian subcontinent and were later grown to adapt to other regions of the world.

Primarily sugar was a luxury  before the 18th century and later became popular in 19th century becoming a staple of normal cuisine. The purification of sugar and desire for the sweet confectionery products that could be produced spurred an entire economic development around the product and brought about our favorite meal – dessert!

Today our world produces on average 168 million metric tons of the delicious substance. You may find it funny that despite this entire article, I am actually more of a savory person than a sweet person. I’ll trade salt and vinegar chips any day over candy but would have a difficult time giving up my ice cream.

How about you? What is your favorite confection?

  • Jason Stadtlander

Twisted Thursday – Our created problems
Twisted Thursday – Our created problems 150 150 Jason Stadtlander

Daily Rat Race

You walk out to the car after running into an office building and there is a parking ticket on your windshield. You sigh and perhaps yell a profanity and jump in your car driving off. You have just been a victim of a problem we have all created.

Society – it’s something that most of us live in. I say most of us because there are a select few who have chosen to be hermits and completely detach themselves from all of humanity and although I doubt I could ever do it, I completely understand why they do it.

Yep… We created it

We have created nearly every single problem that we encounter on a daily basis. The traffic jam you are stuck in wasting precious minutes you could be spending doing something else? Yep, we created it. The fact that you’re in debt or better yet, you’re rich? Yep, we created it. We created the concept of money and the need to earn it along with the destruction that it Social Classcan do to people. Here is a small list of the ridiculous problems we’ve created:

  • Money / Concept of Trade
  • Poverty / Wealth
  • Crime / Laws
  • Social Class
  • Organizations
  • Corporations
  • War
  • Religion (Do not confuse religion with faith)
  • Pollution

There are four things that we did not create, and it’s important to know what these are as they are really the only four things that matter in life when all is said and done.

  • Love for one another
  • Family
  • Friends / Friendship
  • The need to survive and take care of those closest to you (feed, teach, etc.)

Finding your piece of peace

When it all boils down to the truth, there isn’t much that a single person can do to sculpt an already thriving society. You can bend the road here and there and try to steer things, but in reality, you were born into your part of society and must do the best with what you have been given. However, there are small things you can do along the way, things that I do every day to step outside of society’s boundaries. Here are some of the things I do:

  • Commuting through life: When stuck in traffic or stuck in the rat-race that is my daily life of commuting and dealing with a corporate job (that’s right, I actually don’t write full-time – though I so wish I did) – I call my father, mother, siblings, friends, anyone that means something to me. I take the time while I’m doing nothing but brainless traveling or commuting to build and hold on to what is most important in my life, my friends and family.
  • Finding your peice of peaceSmelling the roses: So many people talk about stopping to smell the roses, a ridiculous cliché, but in some respects apt. I have to run my children to their activities or to school or run errands. But I try often to pull the car to the side of the road and step out with them to play or walk in a park. Before I take them out of the car I kneel down to their level and grab their hand and ask them how they are. Before I drop them off at school every morning, I kiss them on the cheek and expect the same in return, then I whisper in their ear that I love them and I am very proud of [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][fill in an activity that they did or an accomplishment].
  • Open y’er ears sonny!: Though some of my friends (and especially colleagues) would argue that I do not listen very often, I do in fact listen to my children and my family. I listen to their dreams, their problems, the things that scare them and the things they are proud of and I acknowledge what they have told me. Yes, I only listen to things I think are important… and I’m sorry to say but the job that society has created for me to do to put dinner on my table – ain’t all that important.
  • Look for the peace of the moment: Sometimes it’s as simple as putting on my headphones and listening to some classical music. Other times it’s opening my sunroof and driving along the coast, just to unwind. Finding that peace in your life is probably one of the most critical things. That, and learning not to let things that really just don’t matter (like finances and stress) get under your skin. I know it’s easier said than done, but you make choices. Just make sure they are the right ones.

What do you do?

So tell me below, what do you do to unwind and relax? What do you do to step outside the bounds with which you were born into to appreciate the important things?[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

  • Jason Stadtlander

Appreciating what our country was founded on
Appreciating what our country was founded on 150 150 Jason Stadtlander

I was standing in line today at the doctor’s office and an older man was giving this receptionist a hard time. It was such a beautiful day, sun was shining out and it was early, perhaps 8:00 a.m. and this guy was going on about how his appointment was at a suite in 7F and all he could find was 7E. The receptionist who I believe might have been from Dominican Republic goes on to tell him that there is no suite 7F and he most likely read it wrong since the person he is seeing is at this office anyway.

Then he complains that he can’t understand what she is saying anyway and she should learn to speak English. I am a voice actor and very familiar with accents, so I can personally vouch that she spoke perfect English, he was just being an ass. So I said to him, “How long have you lived in the United States?”

To which he proudly replies, “All my life, three generations American.”

I said, “And how would your great-great-grandfather or grandmother feel if they knew how you just talked to someone who spoke perfect English but had recently immigrated to the United States.”

“I don’t need to be lectured by you sonny, it’s none of your business.” he replied and stormed off to the waiting room.

 The truth is…

Immigrants

 

This country was founded on the ideals and principles of people coming to make a better life for themselves. To gain a richer more full life for their families and to be appreciated for the diversity, not ridiculed for it. Being married to an immigrant (having children that are half Portuguese), and having countless friends who have moved here from other countries it angers me that people can be so shallow.

I fail to understand how immigrants who have fought, some through very hard times to come to the United States and make a better life can go on to have children. Then grandchildren, who can then go and ridicule the very people who represent the determination that their own ancestors made in coming here.

Forgetful society

Fighting for our CountryI’m not trying to do a soapbox speech, but I think that many people need to remember where we have come from. Mistakes that have been made, and blood, sweat and tears that have been shed along the way. Some of us forget the impact that our ancestors made in our very own lives taking the chance to move to a foreign land where they might speak a language and have laws that they don’t even understand. Furthermore, some people tend to forget what we have fought for, what our brothers, sisters, sons and daughters are out there fighting for. They aren’t fighting for a flag or a government. They are fighting for the United States of America. Fighting to maintain a country that others can continue to admire and look to when freedom is needed from their own oppression.

 

What are your thoughts?

  • Jason Stadtlander

Twisted Thursday – A Moment Of Embarrassment
Twisted Thursday – A Moment Of Embarrassment 150 150 Jason Stadtlander

You are going about your normal daily routine, perhaps it’s sitting in class or going to a meeting at work and all seems well. People talk to you and look at you odd, but overall everything seems fine. Then as you’re walking down the corridor you happen to look down and notice that you’re completely naked, not a thing is on. And then you wake up.

The naked dream, we’ve all had it – well, most of us have. Psychologists and dream analysts usually say that it indicates you are feeling exposed or uncertain about an upcoming plan. Personally, I just think it’s our mind’s way of screwing around with us. At any rate, it is an embarrassing moment all in its own and in the privacy of your own head.

Embarrassed“Hello, I’d like to apply for the mortified job…”

I was twenty-two years old and went in to apply for a job at Harvard Pilgrim Health in Harvard Square. I would hopefully be a medical assistant and for the interview – was dressed in my best suit and tie. The truth was, I was young and really wasn’t sure what to do with my life (because I’m so certain now…). So, I walk in and decide to hit the restroom before I actually go into the office space. Then I washed my hands, leave the restroom and go to the reception desk to let the human resources person know I was there.

A few minutes later I was called into the conference room where the human resources woman carried out the interview, I acted professionally, answered all her questions and I stood up and shook the lady’s hand. Then as I was leaving she giggled, I turned to see what was funny and to my dismay she was looking at my rear end. I turned to try to see what she saw and there, and hanging from my suit pants was a string of toilet paper about six inches long. Embarrassed and shocked, I pulled the paper from my pants and (to this day, something I’ll never understand why) offered it to the HR woman. She burst out laughing and then replied “Um, no thanks.” to which I also laughed and crumpled it up and threw it in the nearest trashcan.

Surprisingly I actually got the job, perhaps more for comic relief than actual talent.

Why is it embarrassing?

EmbarrassedRemembering back to that day got me thinking. Embarrassing things happen every day, but the real question is – What makes it embarrassing?

Embarrassment is basically your own realization that you are doing something that does not conform to social standards within your area. Now, notice I say within your area.

What is socially acceptable in some areas may not be in other areas. To date I have not yet found a society that feels it is socially acceptable to walk around with toilet paper hanging out of your pants, however some communities do allow nudity. In some parts of the world, it is considered a compliment to belch or pass gas where in most of the United States or United Kingdom communities, it’s generally not an accepted behavior and thus becomes an embarrassing event.

Age also has something to do with it. My son is embarrassed when I give him a kiss as I drop him off at school. Yet I, being in my mid thirties have absolutely no level of embarrassment to kiss my father on the cheek. He is one of my dearest friends. So my question to all of you is:

What’s the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you?

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