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Jack & Elaine – The Power of Laughter

Jack & Elaine – The Power of Laughter 1600 1200 Jason Stadtlander

The two children sat in their little chairs twenty feet off the ground inside the treehouse Jack’s father had built. Torrents of rain beat down on the shingled roof above and the air inside the treehouse was damp from the deluge outside. The two sat quietly, looking out the side window facing Jack’s home. The window had cross-members but no glass allowing the spring breeze to blow in. The small space was filled with the pleasant smell of fresh cut grass, wooden planks and cool crisp rain.

They didn’t need to speak. There was a comfort in the silence surrounding them, it was something Jack enjoyed—a friend who enjoyed solitude as much as he.

Jack looked over at Elaine. Her arms were propped on the sill of the window, her chin resting on top. “Want to play a game?” he asked.

Elaine turned to him and smiled. “Sure. What do you want to play?”

Jack stood up and walked over to the small bookcase next to the wall and pulled out a deck of Fish cards. “Go Fish?”

“Okay,” she said happily.

Jack sat down at the small table as Elaine pulled their little chairs over to the table. He dealt out five cards each and the two sat facing each other, eager to make matches. Elaine asked Jack for a shark. He had none. So, she pulled a card from the pile, then looked over at Jack.

“Jack, why were those boys teasing you on the bus the other day?”

Jack shrugged. “Do you have any starfish?”

“No,” she replied, watching Jack pull a card from the pile. “Why do you let them pick on you? You’re stronger than that.”

He looked at her, her fire-red hair made her blue eyes seem brighter than they might have been had her hair been brown or blond. “Why do you care?”

Elaine shrugged, “Just do. I don’t like bullies. What do you like to do at school?”

“I don’t really like school very much. I usually just play on the playground or read a book. I like to read.”

Elaine’s face lit up. “Me too! What do you like to read?”

Jack looked past Elaine, contemplating his favorite books. “I like Amelia Bedelia—she’s funny. Also the Gruffalo. My daddy does really good voices for the Gruffalo.”

Elaine laughed. “I like her too! Amelia Bedelia is so silly!” Her laugh was so light- hearted it made Jack laugh too. Elaine added, “Did you read the one where she was asked to put out the lights . . . ” She began giggling, “and Amelia took all the light bulbs out and hung them on the clothesline?”

Suddenly, the tiny redhead was laughing so hard she was crying. Her laugh was infectious. Jack, in turn, began laughing along with her.

“Put them on a clothesline!” he repeated, laughing even harder. He began laughing so hard he started to cry and fell out of the hair which only made Elaine and Jack laugh harder. She jumped down on the floor next to him laughing.

The two six-year-olds were now in a complete fit of giggles on the floor inside the tree-house, the Fish cards strewn all around them.

A few minutes later, they sat up, still laughing, wiping tears from their eyes. Jack felt as he had never felt before—carefree and alive—living life as all children should, was something he wasn’t sure he had ever done before. How the friendship of a young girl named Elaine, could touch him so deeply was something he couldn’t quite grasp, but he was happy to have her as a friend.

And so the two sat, playing Go Fish, talking and giggling over other stories they had read.


Checkout Jack and Elaine’s other adventures


jack-elaine-a-silent-call-for-friendship

Jack & Elaine – A Silent Call for Friendship

Jack & Elaine – A Silent Call for Friendship 1200 794 Jason Stadtlander

ABOUT THE SERIES: The next several posts will be part of a series I wrote a while back. It’s about two children named Jack and Elaine and some of the trials and tribulations they go through.


A Silent Call for Friendship

There was a cacophony of noise filling the air as children talked and laughed on the bus ride back from the science museum. Ten seats back on the driver’s side, a lone young boy named Jack sat staring out the window. He saw cars drive by, people walking and clouds floating listlessly through the sky. Trees lined the road and birds sat upon the wires as they drooped above the streets. A warm breeze blew in the window, tossing the hair of the six-year-old sitting on the green vinyl bus seat. The bus hit a bump and kids bounced and laughed, but the boy did not so much as smile. He just continued looking out the window.

The boy’s mind wasn’t in the bus at all. He was flying free outside alongside the bus, looking in at himself. That sad, solemn face peering back. He looked down to break the gaze of his mind’s eye, at which point the bullying words from within the bus were audible again. “Hey stupid! Hey ree-tard. Who dressed you? Huh?” a child said from across the aisle. There was a rise laughter from children nearby.

“Stupid. Can’t even hear me, can you dummy?”  The voice said, followed by an audience of laughter.

Tears welled up in the boy’s eyes and a lone tear went down his soft cheek as he stared out the window. Jack always tried so hard not to listen to the other boys. Why do they always choose me to pick on? He asked himself. The truth was, he knew why. He was quiet, smaller than the other boys and preferred to read over playing.

“Lackey Jacky the stupid dummy.” The boy said again and staid “Lacky… Jacky.” the other boys started chanting “Lackey Jacky”.

Jack spent so much time in his own world, his own place where he could find solitude. He sat staring out the windows, playing alone in the playground or simply drawing pictures that brought him peace. Trapped here on the bus was like living through his own private hell and no one ever seemed to notice or care. There was a part of him inside that was screaming for them to stop but he had been put down and made fun of for so long that he couldn’t defend himself. Not anymore.

He began to cry softly sitting there alone in his bus seat, as the boy led on the other boys in the chant of “Lackey Jacky the stupid dummy.” Then the boy from across the aisle said in a pouting face, “You crying baby Jacky? Boo hoo. It’s so sad, that he’s so stupid. Cry baby Jack, where’s your Mommy? Hmm?”  the boy called.

Jack glanced over at them and then turned and looked out the window, feeling complete and utter shame for not being able to defend himself and yet there was also an anger, deep within him that he couldn’t quite grasp. Just as Jack was contemplating why he couldn’t defend himself and why people always chose him to pick on, there was a loud smack. The sound of skin on skin caused Jack to turn quickly and look at the boy that had been tormenting him from across the aisle. The left side of his face was beat red and tears were welling up in his own eyes. Standing in the aisle was a girl that Jack had seen at the playground. She was tall for a six-year-old, had red hair and freckles and was smiling right at him. She turned and looked at the boy that was bullying him.

“You gonna cry?” she mocked towards the boy, then she sat down beside Jack, his heart leaped. He had never had someone stick up for him before and felt an alien emotion creeping in. Respect? Elation?

“Hi, I’m Elaine.” She said, holding out her hand. He shook it and smiled through eyes that were drying. “I’m new to the school and it looks you need a friend. Just so happens, I need one too.” She said smiling.

“I’ll be your friend. Thank you.” He said smiling.


Checkout Jack and Elaine’s other adventures


tips-and-tricks-for-video-conferencing-during-covid19

Tips and Tricks For Video Conferencing During COVID19

Tips and Tricks For Video Conferencing During COVID19 2400 1256 Jason Stadtlander

With all of us working from home during the COVID19 lockdown, video conferencing for work and school has become critical. I felt it might help to lay out some key points to take into account when using them and some of the popular video conferencing / meeting apps that are out there as well as some risks.

Tips & Tricks While Video Conferencing:

  • SCHOOL CHILDREN
    • No background noise – Make sure that there is no background noise (dogs, other kids, televisions, etc.). Any background noise can be amplified in video conferences.
    • Good lighting – Make sure that the lighting is adequate so that you can be seen
    • Distractions – Ensure that no distractions (phones, video games, etc.)
    • Take notes – Have a physical piece of paper and pencil handy to take notes
    • Follow the Rules – Remember to always follow the normal classroom policies of your school

TELEWORKERS / PRESENTERS

  • No background noise – Make sure that there is no background noise (dogs, other kids, televisions, etc.). Any background noise can be amplified in video conferences.
  • Good lighting – Make sure that the lighting is adequate so that you can be seen
  • No clutter – Reduce the clutter behind you. You want to portray a professional image, even though you are working from home.
  • Professional – Be dressed (at least from the waist up) when on camera. Just because you’re working from home, doesn’t mean people should see you in pajamas or a robe.
  • Look as if you are not reading – If you are reading something you wrote (for a presentation), keep the text in a small window directly under your camera. This will enable you to be looking directly at the camera. Having a smaller window will ensure that people don’t see your eyes going from one side of the screen to the other while reading.
  • Keep your content viewable – If you are presenting or sharing your screen, ensure that your screen resolution is no larger than 1920 X 1080 – anything larger will look blurry or unreadable on tablets and laptops. Also, it will reduce the bandwidth required to push your image to their display.

Risks

There are a few risks with using video conferencing. Some may seem like common sense, some may be “ah ha” moments. If you’re ever curious about more details on them, contact me at the bottom of this article.

  • Everything you see in your camera, everyone else can see. If you doing a live presentation or recording something that the public can see, keep in mind what is visible in your camera. You don’t want to advertise that you have an expensive item in the background and later wonder why someone broke into your home.
  • The more people you are connected to, the slower the connection. So if you don’t need everyone to video chat and only need them to listen, ask them to turn off their video so that it doesn’t hog up your bandwidth.
  • Don’t get too casual in video conferencing. Sitting at home on your sofa, or at your kitchen table can make it easier for you to get too relaxed. You still want to maintain the same professionalism you would if you were in public or meeting with the people one on one.

Video Conferencing Applications:

What’s the best application? The best application is the one that works for you. There are a wide variety of choices. Some are great, some are not so great. I suggest you try as many as possible. Play with them, test them with a friend and find the one that works well for you. Here is a small list of some I have helped people use and used myself.

  • Zoom – This is one of the top choices in the market at the moment, mostly because of the simplicity of use. However, with simplicity comes the lack of control. There have been quite a few situations where people have “bombed” Zoom public forums. So just be aware of who you’re allowing to be on your video conference.
  • Skype – One of the oldest video conferencing platforms out there, Skype (for personal use only) is a great tool for family and friends to keep in touch and it allows you to connect multiple people at a time.
  • Microsoft Teams – Teams was built on the framework of Skype and completely replaces Skype for Business. It has many additional functions such as a community – forum type platform and a file storage area that stores files in Microsoft’s One Drive. It’s a very good application, but it can be a LOT for the layperson to grasp.
  • GoToMeeting – GoToMeeting is another platform that has been around for a long time. Owned by LogMeIn (originally designed by Citrix), it is very good for helping people remotely and video conferencing. Although more than four connected people do tend to bog it down quite a bit.
  • Doxy.me – Doxy.me was designed specifically with doctors and patients in mind. It has three different tiers. Free; Individual practice and Clinic (multiple doctors). It’s very good for allowing doctors to connect with patients and does not require much computer knowledge (which is perfect for the elderly). It’s also HIPAA compliant. In my own experience though, the video quality is very poor and does make it very difficult to visually diagnose problems.
  • Google Hangouts – Google hangouts was really designed for individual communications and has a good chat / voice / video platform for one on one communications. It is much more limited in administrative controls from Zoom, but it is quick and easy and generally has pretty good quality video.
  • Facetime – Apple’s original video chatting platform. It does now allows you to connect to multiple people, but it uses a lot more bandwidth than Zoom or WhatsApp. It also only works on Apple operating systems.
  • WhatsApp – WhatsApp is a great multiplatform (works on Desktops and all phones) video-conferencing applications. It has pluses and minuses. It has really good video / audio quality but you can only connect using phone numbers (instead of usernames or emails) which also means that most tablets cannot use it.

As always, if you have a question or want to know my thoughts, drop me a line here or reach out to me on my tech support site: Stadtlander Designs.

Terrapause - The World on Hold

Terrapause – The World On Hold

Terrapause – The World On Hold 1920 960 Jason Stadtlander

We are all aware that these are unprecedented times we are living in. We saw the virus coming, but no one acted quickly enough. It was difficult to foresee how the novel coronavirus COVID19 would impact the world the way it has and unfortunately, we are still at the beginning. It is honestly hard to believe that it is the first day of Spring. I even forgot about St. Patrick’s Day the other day until someone told me around 2 pm.

Here in Massachusetts, at the time of writing this, we currently have 250 cases that are confirmed and no deaths. I think we can all agree that the scare is not so much getting the virus, but more that our elderly or those that are already at risk could get it. Or worse yet, that our hospitals could become so overwhelmed that they cannot handle the number of people that need treatment.

Don’t focus on the statistics, it’s hard not to – but focusing on family and yourself is more critical

Times are rapidly changing.

  • All over the world, people are closing their businesses, while others that can work from home are choosing to do so. Keep in mind, much of the population cannot work from home. If you do not work an office job and must work an hourly wage, then this can have catastrophic consequences if it drags out.
  • The unknown elements are the most unnerving, how long will my business need to remain closed? Will there be any financial assistance to help me maintain my apartment/house/business? How long will this last? And worst of all – How many people will we lose?
  • Children all over the world have had to pause (or stop completely) their school year. My children are out until April 7th, but there are talks of completely closing the schools for the rest of the year. How does this impact the children’s ability to graduate down the road? I have to believe that specific allowances will be put in place for the circumstance. It isn’t like this is something impacting only a few people. It literally is impacting the entire world.
  • Not since the depression and World War II has there been something that so drastic has impacted our planet.

As insane as it sounds, there are upsides to all of this though:

  • China and other countries are reporting some of the lowest pollution levels in decades given that so many people are remaining home and not commuting. I can speak from personal experience – driving into Boston the few times I’ve had to over the last week has been amazing! I have not seen this few people on the road since I moved to Boston in 1998.
  • Being forced to be at home, though unnerving, is giving people a forced rest period. We have no choice but to remain at home and work, read and watch TV. Some of us (me included) are taking the chance to go out running and getting some much-needed exercise. As crazy as the circumstances are, this world needed this small respite. We as a society have been moving faster and faster and expecting everything to happen instantly. Now nature or God or whatever higher power you feel may be in charge has forced us to take a break and I would like to believe that some solid good can come out of this.
  • We are being forced to look after those that are most at risk. Stores are opening early to let the elderly go shopping before anyone else does. People are communicating and checking in on the elderly and the sick to make sure that they are well cared for. It is so easy in our hurried world to overlook the little things, like taking care of our loved ones and connecting with kids, which leads me to the next point…
  • Yes, if you have young children, about now, you are climbing the walls and pulling your hair out wishing to God that you could use a tranquilizer on them. But, your children (and mine) are getting a chance to connect with us in ways that perhaps the last two generations have not had. You can play board games with your kids, sit down and watch a show with them or just talk to them. Teach them things that you used to do as a kid and learn to be a kid yourself again. Most importantly, don’t let them spend all their time on video games or phones. Get them to read or practice writing or teach them something about your family that you haven’t had a chance to. Just keep their brains busy.

The loneliness for some will be the most difficult. We are social creatures and some of us are more social than others. If you live alone, it can be very difficult to cope with this and reading or watching TV can only take you so far. It won’t take long for you to forget what day of the week it is. I strongly recommend the following (for everyone – regardless of your living situation):

  • Use the time to connect with family, call them and if you can – facetime, skype or video WhatsApp them
  • Talk to friends. Take this chance to catch up on talks that you haven’t been able to in your busy life.
  • Pick up that hobby you’ve been wanting to do, build some models, put together a puzzle or read (or anything else that stricks your fancy).
  • Cook. You’re going to be by yourself a lot, so it doesn’t hurt to prep some meals. You can freeze them or refrigerate them and warm them up later.

No matter who you are or how many people you live with, be sure to do the following:

  • Don’t focus on the statistics, it’s hard not to – but focusing on family and yourself is more critical
  • Focus on the positive with children – they will be scared enough seeing you scared. Show them the positives (like time to play games and read)
  • Don’t let the media bring you down. They are bringing you important information, but their job is still to get listeners/viewers and they do this by focusing on the drama.

As the old Persian saying goes, “This too shall pass.”

We don’t know what the world will be like when we come out on the other side, but how we carry ourselves in these times will determine who we are on the other side.

Wishing you good health, happiness and time with those you care about most.

resisting-change

Our Changing Lives and Perceptions

Our Changing Lives and Perceptions 970 450 Jason Stadtlander

I was recently going through family photos, organizing and trying to do some purging. In doing so I came across pictures of my past, good times, hard times and photos of those that are no longer with us.

From this moment in time, we can all only move forward. We can only work in the present to make the future better.

We humans are strange animals. One of the things that set us apart from the rest of the creatures in our world is our self-awareness and recognition that time passes. That, in turn also makes us acutely aware of the changes and it can often make some of us resistant to change. Some people feed on the resistance to change, such as “Make America Great Again”. The concept puts the false idea into people’s heads that we can roll back time, that we can undo the changes that have occurred and return to a time that we liked more.

I personally rarely resist change, in fact, I like to embrace it. An element that is critical when working in IT. But, change does affect me on an emotional level. I look back at photos of my children when they were smaller or photos of my parents when they were younger and I feel a pang in my heart. A yearning for that moment to exist again. A chance to hold that now teenager as a little six-year-old again and perhaps, do right what I once did wrong. An opportunity to look up to my parents more than just metaphorically and see the world through the magical eyes of a child again. Or, to wind back the clock and see the older ones I love – without the physical or emotional pain that they have today.

There is no back – There is only now and the future

Unfortunately for us, time is linear. From this moment in time, we can all only move forward. We can only work in the present to make the future better. A future that will someday be the present and eventually the past and hopefully a past that we can be happy we lived in. This moment you read these words, and perhaps make a tiny change today so that your present tomorrow will be better. Or, perhaps you do nothing today and just hope that tomorrow will be better. There are things that we can change and there are things that we cannot.

The fact that these changes occur (because of us or in spite of us) does not change the desire to look back on the past and wish to live in it. The past is known. The past is there and the future is not. It does raise the question though; “If you knew the future, no matter how wonderful or gruesome it may be, would it change the way you live in the present?”

I think, for me it just might change how I live in the present.

How to reach a live IRS person

How to Reach a Live IRS Person

How to Reach a Live IRS Person 635 423 Jason Stadtlander

UPDATE (6/3/2020) – COVID19: So, I saw everyone’s comments about being unable to get through. I did some research and found that the IRS has discontinued all of their phone support until after the pandemic is over. Wish I had better news for you, I know it sucks. Especially for those that badly need to get through. I did find though, that you can call 800-919-9835 if you’re calling about your stimulus check coming with the wrong amount or if you never received it. Please keep checking back here – I promise I’ll keep this article updated.


With tax season upon us, I thought it might be helpful to share one mighty little tip that I have found useful over the last few years: “How to reach a live person at the IRS” (Updated 2/4/2020)

It may sound silly, but it’s very difficult to get the right set of options to actually get a hold of a real person through the IRS phone system (no doubt that this is not a mistake on their part).

IMPORTANT NOTE: Added 12-29-2019: I have done some investigating as several people said that it wasn’t working below and found that they revised their phone IVR (Interactive Voice Response) system. Below is the CORRECT method for getting through to a live person, however, I found out that they do not allow their queue to be larger than 50 callers. So there is a very good chance you won’t get through if you call on their busy days (Monday, Tuesday, and Friday). So I recommend you follow below on Wednesdays or Thursdays.

So here is the combination (Updated 2/5/2020 – Thank you PJ for the update):

  • Call the IRS: 1-800-829-1040 hours 7 AM – 7 PM local time Monday-Friday
  • Press 1 for English.
    After selecting your language, choose option 2 for “For answers about your personal income tax…”
  • Press 1 “For questions about a form you have already submitted or …”
  • Press 3 “For all other questions about your tax history or…”
  • Press 2 “For all other questions about your tax history or payment…”
  • IMPORTANT: When it asks you to enter your SSN or EIN to access your account information, do not enter anything.
    • After it asks twice, you will get another menu
  • Press 2 for “personal or individual tax questions”…
  • Finally, press 4 and you get in line for a live person.
the-boy-conclusion-suicide-10-year-old

The Boy – Concluded

The Boy – Concluded 1484 770 Jason Stadtlander

WARNING: The following story deals with strong topics such as depression, suicide, and bullying. Reader discretion is advised.


NOTE: This is a conclusion of the story published last week: https://jasonstadtlander.com/the-boy/


George ran hard, tears streaming from his face. The cool fall day chilled his skin as he ran, over wet branches, through fallen leaves, over two logs that lay on the ground. He was eager to escape the pain and internal torture he was feeling. He wasn’t afraid of getting caught, he had already been caught. All four of the other children had seen him attack Tommy. Is he dead? Does it matter? Of course, it matters! “I want to be dead!” he screamed out loud.

He came to an embankment and stumbled down the bank to the dried-out stream at the bottom. Climbing back up the other side, he came to a large patch of moss on the ground below a tree, he fell to his knees and thrust his fists down into the moss, wetness splattering up, he screamed at the top of his lungs and he collapsed. He could feel the damp forest floor soaking through his clothes, but he didn’t care. George turned onto his back and looked up, the pale blue sky showed through the almost naked trees above him. Puffy white clouds floated past a few branches and George’s heart raced. He had brutally hurt Tommy. He knew what he did was wrong, he had never hurt anyone before. George was always the good kid, the kid that helped anyone that was in need. He tried to help the underdogs because they underdogs were… well because they were like him. “I’m sorry Tommy,” he whispered under his breath. “I’m so sorry.”

Tears rolled down the boy’s face. He sat up when he heard something. In the distance, he couldn’t see them, but he could hear his Mom calling out and Officer Swartz. “George! Where are you? Please come back!” his mother called.

“George, you’re not in trouble. Come here, son! We just want to talk to you!” the police officer said. George had known Officer Swartz his whole life, his kids went to school with him in Canal Fulton.

George got up and ran the other direction. He knew in his heart his life was over. There were more kids like Tommy. He would hurt more people. He wasn’t the same. Not like he was two hours ago. Now, he was different. Now things would never be the same. So George ran and kept on running.

Eventually, he came to the edge of the woods and saw the two-lane road of State Route 93 that stretched out over Route 21. He ran to the concrete bridge and looked out over the four-lane road below. A semi blasted his horn for the boy, believing that perhaps that’s what he wanted. No doubt a father behind the wheel, wanting to make a boy smile. George did not smile. There was nothing to smile about. He had killed that boy. Killed him with his own hands.

George looked down at his hands, as they rested on the concrete divider. There was no blood on them now, at least none that he could see. He climbed up onto the concrete divider in the now bright sunlit day and stood on the narrow edge. He trembled, feeling cold and scared. Too scared. Staring at the cars below, his heart pounded, he could hear his heartbeat in his ears. He wasn’t sure if he was nervous, afraid or just exhausted. He moved two inches toward the edge, his feet now hanging over the edge a few inches. A car horn honked below. The cars were speeding by, traveling at least sixty miles per hour. George wasn’t thinking about how fast the cars were going. He was thinking about Tommy. How he had made George so angry. How he had caused George to lose control. “I don’t ever want to hurt anyone again. I don’t want to hurt,” he said under his breath.

The twelve-year-old boy could hear sirens in the distance as he closed his eyes and took one last step.


If you or someone you know is feeling suicidal, you can get help by contacting the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

the-boy-jason-stadtlander-bullying

The Boy

The Boy 1125 750 Jason Stadtlander

WARNING: The following story deals with strong topics such as depression and bullying. Reader discretion is advised.


The boy sat staring at the ridiculous frog wearing the baseball hat, holding his hand up high on the box of Kellogg’s Sugar Smacks cereal. He took long, slow crunch after crunch, still struggling to shake the deep lethargy, yearning to return to his bed and drift off to sleep again.

Whitney Houston belted out ‘All at once’ on the small plastic radio on top of the refrigerator “Ever since I met you, you’re the only love I’ve known…”. Spoon into mouth, sweet milk on his tongue, the cereal crunched some more. The room was filled with the smell of fried eggs in bacon fat and wet dog, as Ben had just been let back in from the rain through the patio door in the kitchen. The wet dog stood in the corner drinking water.

“George, dry him off, will you please?” his mother stated. “I need to finish making breakfast.”

The boy dropped his spoon in the bowl with a clink, slowly got up and grabbed the towel that they kept next to the door for the dog. He rubbed the black lab aggressively, more so that he could get back to his cereal than to dry off the dog. George rubbed Ben’s face and then down his neck. The boy stopped and looked the dog in the face, who looked back with his light brown eyes. He almost felt as if the animal could read his mind, feel his despair. He wrapped his arms around the lab and hugged him, despite the smell and the dampness. Then the boy got up and walked back to the table.

In the corner, Ben took one last great shake off which still managed to spray a bit of water on the patio door and wall. “George! I asked you to dry him off!”

George looked up from the bowl, “I did mom.” He continued to crunch the Sugar Smacks. He could feel his mother looking at him, he knew she was glaring, probably upset, but he didn’t really care. His mind was sluggishly focused on the future task, getting to the bus stop and better yet, avoiding Tommy.

The song on the radio had changed, “Every bond you break, every step you take, I’ll be watching you…” Sting sang with The Police. George took a few last bites and picked up his bowl, drinking the sweet goodness that remained. The boy looked up at the clock on the radio just as the plastic number flipped to 7:12 AM. Not feeling any sense of urgency for his 7:20 bus, he got up, placed his bowl in the sink, grabbed his backpack and walked toward the door.

“George. Coat.” His mother called from the kitchen. The twelve-year-old grabbed his cream suede jacket and put it on, then walked out the front door as he slung his backpack over his shoulders. He was grateful the rain stopped, but dreaded going to the bus stop.

Shoulders slumped, staring at the concrete of the sidewalk, he plodded toward the bus stop. George saw how the rough concrete gave way every few feet to the smoothness of the grouted edge and finally to the crease of the walk, then to smoothness and then to roughness. Over and over the pattern continued. He saw the pattern but wasn’t thinking about it. George wasn’t thinking about much of anything. His heart was filled with the angst of how his day might start. He hoped today would be different. Today maybe Tommy wouldn’t be at the bus stop. Maybe Tommy would just be sick today. Fat chance of that. George thought as he looked to the end of the street. He could see the five other kids standing there waiting for the bus, Tommy standing among them. George looked down at his feet, wondering if his new shoes made his feet look smaller. He dreaded the upcoming encounter, every morning it was the same thing. Perhaps, perhaps today would be different.

George slogged slowly toward the bus stop, not getting close to the other children, standing back about ten feet. He liked the other kids well enough, they weren’t mean, but they didn’t do anything when Tommy picked on him either. He could feel the tension building in him already. Tommy was talking to Mike with his back turned to George, so at the moment he was safe. George looked down the road, praying that the bus would come around the corner. Maybe the bus will get here before Tommy turns around. Mike was not one of Tommy’s lackeys, but he also wasn’t George’s friend. Mike was the kind of guy who tried to ingratiate everyone. George’s younger sister called Mike a ‘suck-up’ or a ‘fair-weather friend’. She was probably right. Mike attached himself to whoever seemed to be the most dominant person in a situation and now, that person was Tommy. Come on bus. Where the Hell are you?

Ever so slowly, Tommy turned around and his eyes lay right on George. Shit. “Hey, Bigfoot. Your mamma dress you in that?” Tommy gestured toward George’s jacket. George looked down at the cream-colored suede. He could feel his blood pressure rising, the tension in him building like a storm. “You look like an ice cream truck threw up on you.” Tommy started laughing.

“Shut up.” George spat. Tommy stopped laughing. “What did you say?”

“I said… shut. Up.” A few of the kids whispered. Tommy took his thermos out of his bag and opened it up. He threw the hot liquid at George, which was apparently hot chocolate and for a moment the hot liquid burned. George looked down at his jacket.

“There, now you look better. Can’t have a puke colored jacket without some brown on it.” Tommy said, braying laughter. A few of the kids started laughing. George no longer cared about the bus. He was so tired of dealing with Tommy and his bullshit. He was tired of hating himself for looking the way he did, the type of looks that apparently made kids like Tommy pick on him. He threw down his backpack and ran full force into Tommy knocking Tommy on his back on the sidewalk.

“Get off of me you big-footed freak!” Tommy screamed.

George climbed on top of Tommy and grabbed the kid by his black hair and slammed the back his head into the sidewalk. Tommy began screaming louder. Two of the girls screamed in horror at the sight of what was happening. George continued to slam the back of Tommy’s head into the sidewalk over and over and over until at last Tommy stopped making noise. He looked down at Tommy’s head in his hands and let go, blood covered the sidewalk behind the boy’s head. George jumped up and stared in shock at what he had done. What he couldn’t take back. He collapsed on the sidewalk and sat, staring at Tommy’s lifeless body. “Oh my God! You killed him! You killed Tommy!” Mike screamed.

George got up and ran down the street toward his house leaving his backpack at the bus stop. He ran as fast as his legs would carry him. He could just vaguely perceive the bus pulling up in the background. It didn’t happen, it was all just what I wished would happen. It was an illusion. He told himself as he ran with all his might. Running back into the house and slamming the door behind him he leaned on the closed door. Then looked down at this jacket, still wet with hot chocolate. Tommy’s hot chocolate that his mom had made for him for lunch. A lunch that the boy would never eat. George slid down the door and stared at the coat closet door across the hallway, slumped at the bottom of the front door, just as his mother walked in from the kitchen. She looked at her son, sitting at the base of the door and saw his jacket. “George? What happened?”

He said nothing. “George?”. She walked over and lifted his head, his eyes looked glazed. Then she saw the blood on his hands. She flipped them over, looking for a cut. “George, what happened? Are you okay? Whose blood is this?” he continued to stare. “George!?”

The twelve-year-old looked up at her, “I killed him, Mom.”

“What? What are you talking about? What happened!?” she shook his shoulders. Tears ran down the boy’s face and he began to cry. He jumped up and turned, opened the door and his mother grabbed him by the arm. George jerked hard and ripped his jacket at the shoulder, running out the door and slamming it in his mother’s face. He got to the end of the sidewalk and stopped, looking up the street toward the bus stop he saw the kids still there, bent over Tommy just as a police car pulled up near the kids.

“George!” his mother called from the door. One of the kids saw George and pointed. George quickly turned right and ran as hard as he could toward the end of the street. He ran across the street at the end of the culdesac and between the two houses into the woods behind them.

~ Check for the conclusion here  ~

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The Future Evolution of Humanity and Our Singular Existence

The Future Evolution of Humanity and Our Singular Existence 1080 608 Jason Stadtlander

For tens of thousands of years, we have struggled as a species, to exist, to progress and to evolve. Yet, we seem to be tied to one single limitation, the shortness of our existence.

We may not like to think about it, but a human life is so short. It may last, at most eighty, maybe a hundred years if you’re lucky. There are so many factors against us in terms of survival; disease, condition of our body and mind, genetics, environment, etc. The list is endless.

In our singular existence, we have a single mind. One which interacts with everything around it through the use of the five senses; sound, smell, touch, sight, and taste. If you really think about it, it is an extremely limited method of input. We can vaguely perceive time, or rather the results of the passage of time (objects aging, hair greying, etc.) however, we really only have those five senses to interpret our world around us. We spend our time in this life from the time we are born, taking in everything around us and in turn teaching what we have learned to others. Our growth as a species and society is something that is incredibly slow because of this process. Only with the advent of technology that allows us to share information instantly, has it become easier to learn, absorb and reach a higher potential than ever before in our history.

That being said, there was something unique about the way that we learned for millennia. We were born, we grew up and taught others what we knew through talking and direct interaction as well as writing. Now, more and more we are allowing technology to overcome person to person interactions. Our ability to transmit information to each other still remains sight, sound, and touch (so far I don’t know of a technology that lets us transmit via smell or taste). So we are still limited to learning things through our eyeballs, ears and communicating back through our fingertips (keyboard).

I pose a few questions in this advancing time. What if we could take things a step further? What if we had the ability to communicate, teach and relay information with each other instantly with our minds, rather than the limited inputs of our eyes, ears, and nose? Would it advance society more rapidly? Would we gain the ability to interact with each other yet retain that instant need to relay information?

A show recently came out on Amazon Prime called The Feed, which I hope to watch soon. It sort of follows the premise – in the future all of our minds are connected in a sort of ‘mental internet’. How would something like this change humanity?

There are many questions that can be raised with this concept, perhaps the most important being; Would we have privacy? Would we be able to (or need to) lie?

My biggest question of all of this is: Would our singular existence no longer be, or would our consciousness continue to live on after we die through the minds of the connected world?

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Heaven, Hell and the Pursuit of Memory

Heaven, Hell and the Pursuit of Memory 2368 1374 Jason Stadtlander

Wars have been fought, countries have been conquered and dreams have been shattered over the beliefs in religion, dogma and the truth of our existence. Why are we here? What is our purpose on Earth or in this Universe?

The one thing all of our arguing and thousands-year long discussions and triumphs and failures has taught us is, we do not know what really lies beyond our own mortal lives.

Strange as it sounds, I’m not going to discuss religion, God, Buddha, Allah or anything of the sort. Not in this article. We all have our beliefs and the one truth to those beliefs is, it helps us to have something that guides us, even if that belief is to believe in nothing at all.

The very nature of humanity is that we need a purpose. Regardless of whether you’re the president of a country or a hermit living in the wilderness, without a purpose your life is meaningless. Even if that purpose is nothing more than coming up with food for tomorrow. I have talked with people who are deeply influential or wealthy people and I have talked to those who have lived in the slums of Mumbai, India. It’s amazing how alike the two classes are in terms of humanity. Both seek love, compassion and a better life for themselves and their families. Reality is… it is all relative. Our lives are so interconnected and related that we simply cannot perceive it.

Let’s look at two perspectives. One is how we look at life and the other is what remains after we have gone.

The Eye of the Beholder

I spoke with a woman in London once. She was on a once in a lifetime trip to visit her sister who had moved there from Mumbai, India. The woman, Nilima was worn and weathered, wearing sixty years of age upon her thirty-year body. She told me that she lived in a cinder block room with tin roofs. They had a rug to sleep on with two old pillows. She and her three children and her husband all slept in this single room no bigger ten feet wide. Living on dirt floors and in an area where the water alone can kill you, she says that she is happy.  She is happy because she has a purpose. To create the best life she knows how for her children and to hopefully lead them to move out of the area that she now lives.

I have a client that I have done some computer work for. They live in a home that overlooks the ocean on the North Shore of Boston. Their sprawling ten thousand square foot home is, by all means, a beautiful home to die for. However, speaking with the woman who lives there she finds that she often has a difficult time. Her children moved to California and her grandchildren are all there. It leaves her often ‘without purpose’. She wants to be a good grandmother and finds it difficult not being close to them to serve that purpose. All her life she was a stay at home mother, not needing to work because of her husband’s lucrative income. So, now she looks for things to keep her occupied, bridge games, golf games or other activities with other ladies of similar lifestyles but finds them unfulfilling when the family is all she wants.

To be Remembered

My son asked me the other day, “Daddy, why do they put stones on people’s graves with their names?” – My instant response to which was “So we know where to find their bodies if we want to visit their graves.”

He thought about this and finally said “Why would we want to do that? They aren’t doing anything anymore. They lived their life.” It was at this point that the simplicity of a child’s thought came through to me as well. The only point of a grave or of a memorial is for the living. It serves no purpose for the dead.

Finally I said to him, “The truth is, I think those of us left, do not want to be forgotten. Perhaps, remembering those that have died, gives meaning to the life we live. That it makes sure we are not forgotten. Whether it’s a stone with our name on it, painting with our name on it or children that we have left behind. Does that make sense?”

“Yes. I think so. Is that why you write? So that you leave something behind?” he asked

I said, “Partly. I want at least a little bit of who I am to hopefully teach others of my own mistakes and also entertain them long after I’m gone.”

This whole discussion led me to think about our mortality. It is important, at least for some of us, that all of this – our existence be worth something.

We are born, we live a life, we touch people and eventually we pass on. Sometimes all too soon. The question is, what do we leave behind? For Nilima, she leaves behind three children who know her well and have seen how everything she does is for their own good. For my client, she leaves behind children who care about her but grandchildren that may never know their grandmother.

“The tragedy of life is not death, but what we let die inside of us while we live.” ~ Norman Cousins

When we die, all that we have left is the memories of us in the living. Be it mental, photographic, video or something we have created that we left behind. Personally, I want to be remembered, not in name – but in that this life I have lived served a purpose.

So, my ultimate question is; Is it what we do in this life from start to finish that truly explains what our existence is about? Or is there a reality that is just out of phase with this one where we continue?

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