Twisted Thursday – Technological Overcompensation for the Inadequacies of Lazy People

Twisted Thursday – Technological Overcompensation for the Inadequacies of Lazy People

Lazy people are all around us, heck, it’s what Twisted Thursday was founded on. However, today I am focusing on the technology that is supposed to overcompensate for those that don’t think before they do things and therefore drive the rest of us insane.

I know, you are reading this, saying “Huh? What are you talking about Jason?”

[box style=”quote”]We believe that when you create a machine to do the work of a man you take something away from the man. ~ Ba’ku Star Trek Insurrection[/box]

Okay, case in point:

Cars Designed To Drive Us Nuts

Let me turn off my lights if I want them off

Cars that drive us nuts

I normally drive a Volvo S80, which at the moment is in the shop. Now, my Volvo is a wonderful car, it really is. However, one of my pet peeves has to do with the lights. Although the light switch has three positions: Off,  Parking Lights, and Headlights – In reality I have the following options: Daytime running lights, Parking Lights and Headlights. I cannot turn them completely off in any way shape or form.

For those of you who do not know, I am a pilot (recreational). As a pilot, sometimes I need to take my car out on the the tarmac up to the plane to unload bags, etc. Well, one of the rules for the airport is ‘no headlights on cars’ because it blinds pilots. Believe me, there is nothing worse than trying to acclimate your eyes to ‘night vision’ when some idiot with their landing lights or car lights blinds you. It can take you a good five minutes or so before your eyes readjust. Having a car that I can’t turn off the lights poses a serious problem. Yes, I know I can put the car “parking lights” on and the headlights will be off. But, parking lights stay on regardless of whether the car is on or off. I was told by Volvo that I can take it in and have them reprogram it for $300.00 which I think is total B.S. I shouldn’t have to pay for my car to act the way a car should act. I am the driver, I should get to decide whether I want my lights on or not.

Holding my radio hostage

So, while my car is in the shop, I have a 2013 Ford Escape. Love it. Really cool car actually. However, one of the first annoyances I noticed with it; I had pick up my mail before I went down the driveway to my house. I unbuckle my seat-belt  reach out and grab the mail. Then I get back in, listening to my favorite song and start driving the rest 1/10 of a mile to my house when I get 300 feet and the audio goes mute. I try turning it up and the computer says “Buckle up to unmute audio”. Seriously? My car is holding the radio hostage until I buckle up when I’m only going down a tiny driveway? For the record I always buckle up, except in my driveway. I wanted to shoot the thing.

Keep your mouth, er, speaker shut!

GPS - Shut up!I have an iPhone and frequently use an App called TeleNav. Pretty cool little program that allows you to use your phone as a normal GPS that you would have on your dash. I started using it a months ago and enjoy the ease of use and the convenience of always having it with me. That was until I noticed that there is no way to turn off the audio. On a phone call, listening to music, anytime, the stupid thing is always trying to give me play by play directions to the next turn. I finally uninstalled the thing because it was worthless to me if there was no way to shut off the audio. Another perfect example of technology trying to be too smart.

I want my seat hot before I sit down

Okay, I know, sounds snobby, but hey – My Volvo has heated seats, so why not have it warm before I get in. Nothing like a toasty butt to get the morning going right? However, you can’t do that. To prevent fires, the thing has a freaking pressure switch in it. You have to be seated for the seat heater to actually work. So, although I can preheat the car – I can’t preheat the seat. Ugh! The misery.

Locked in!

Locked in my car!One of my personal pet peeves of a lot of newer cars is the auto lock feature. As soon as you engage Drive and start moving, the doors lock. I don’t want the doors locked unless I want them locked. I have this (perhaps irrational fear) of getting into a car accident, being unconscious and my doors being locked, thus making it impossible for someone to pull myself or my children out of the car. Very dangerous thing, I feel – also extremely irritating if you pull forward, realize you forgot something and need to jump out for a second.

Picking up the planter when it’s time

AutodrivetractorI cannot attest to this annoyance myself, but my father – who is a farmer, brought this to my attention. A lot of the newer tractors have GPS guidance systems in them where you can setup a field in the computer, then press auto-drive and the tractor will plant a field (or harvest it) with extreme precision. However, one of the well known irritations is that the tractor tends to pull up on the planter (lift it out of the ground) before it reaches the end of the row. Those of us who are not farmers may say “so? what’s the big deal?”. Well, it can mean having thousands of dollars of crops not planted because you end up missing the end of the row by 5-15 feet on hundreds or thousands of rows.

Four wheel drive should be four wheel drive

Most of you know about the blizzard that hit us about a week ago. Well, one of the nice things that I was looking forward to with this rental (Ford Escape) was the fact that it has four wheel drive (4WD). That was until I tried pulling out of my driveway and the tires were spinning without me going anywhere. After five minutes of not moving, I finally figured out (going through all the computer options) that the car has something called “intelligent four wheel drive” which to me is basically like all wheel drive. It tries to apply power where ever it feels slippage. It should have felt slippage on all four tires, however – “intelligent” proved to be stupid. So, I disengaged the “intelligent four wheel drive” and voila! I could finally move. Seriously car manufactures need to reduce the amount of ‘intelligence in their vehicles. It makes them stupid.

What It All Boils Down To

Yes, we know there are people out there that are lazy, but why do the rest of us have to suffer because of the small percentage of society that is too lazy to turn on their lights, to dumb not to put on their seat belts or too dense to engage or not engage their four wheel drive? How can we possibly have ‘survival of the fittest’ if we let all the lazy people out there not learn their lessons?

Let me know below what technology has been implemented to overcompensate for lazy people that drives you crazy.

February 14th, 2013|Blog, Twisted Thursday|0 Comments

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